As a newbie in town, it’s always hard to get around when you have no guide. The worst mistake is to encounter an unstable person to get directions from. They look normal but have a 20% probability to act abnormal, it’s not their fault, they wish they could be normal. The worst people to meet are the crazy fellows or the Sesquipedalian especially when you have “hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia”. Then you are in for the best worst case.

The first mistake I made was leaping before I looked, which is costlier than Fernando Ultramirano (the world’s most expensive bottled water in the World).

“Excuse me sir, could you please direct me to the nearest Auction house in town?” I asked innocently, that was the beginning of my travails, not travels.

“Oh, as you can see, twenty years of passing through this good-for-nothing road to and fro on a never-ending journey is enough to get the mind map off it. When you get to the first turning, take the corner on the left , then it is time to walk up the road down to the upfront bypass uphill which definitely led to an alley very wary for the “psycho-phisio-socio-histo-anthropo” torment and later turn right to the left side of the tarred road well renowned for its rough bumps, which is a barrier to get down to at less than 10km/hour.”

He continued to direct me, “when you get to the paved pathway leading to the gallows down by the white-washed old church, which is a “septuagenarian”, you are almost there, just take a 270° turn to face the South-Western side of the lane. You will be faced with the adjacent building to your destination, which is camped sideways by the wall with a striking resemblance to the Wall of Jericho which is decorated like the China Walls and tinted by upheaved window like doors which double-serve as the only ventilation in the building from all sides….” His voice trailed on as he noticed that I became absent-minded.

“Are you noting it all?”

“Very well sir and thank you for your time,” I curtsied while taking my leave.

“Journeys are meant to be peaceful but beware of traveling in dreams.”


Tell us: Have you ever encountered someone who gave you horrible directions?