There are many souls in this universe that wander aimlessly without love, wishing that somewhere, someday their prayers for love will be answered. They believe that the way their lives have turned out isn’t how it should be. What many people don’t realize is that men who fathered children don’t choose to die and those that leave have their own reasons for doing so that may not be clear or understandable to the rest of us.
It all begins with the tears we hold inside that constantly threaten to wash away our futures. You listen to other children talking about their fathers because you have nothing to say about yours, you don’t have one. What is there to say? He was never there for me and he never bought me toys, the only toys you ever played with belonged to some friend or other. You would often cry your heart out before going to sleep because you knew that the situation would not be better in the morning, not if you still had to worry about what you were going to eat.
By the time you wake up, you’re so hungry that you can feel your intestines protesting against the hunger you feel. You don’t have any money to buy yourself food to eat and your mother doesn’t work, so why still complain or try to give her a heart attack? You don’t want to be an orphan because then you’d be unloved and have no parents. You let those kinds of thoughts drift away as you take a bath and get ready for school fatherless and on an empty stomach.
I have had many experiences whereby other children made fun of me and my circumstances at home. I am who I am and my circumstances won’t change that. I used to wonder about where I came from and why my father abandoned me. Everyone seems to know the truth about why he left except me; all I have is a dusty picture of him. I wish it were possible for me to reach through that picture and touch the hand I never got to feel stroking my head. How is it possible that one person is so unfortunate in life? My life has been hardship since my birth and people are still failing me left right and centre.
I’ve prayed countless of times for a better life, but my prayers are yet to be answered. I had faith but that faith became less because of family that claim to love me, but treat me like trash when no one’s watching because my humiliation is entertainment for them. Life has been an uphill battle for me, I feel like I was never meant to be happy or to find happiness. There are many people that laugh about me behind my back; I don’t blame them.
My life is the way that it is because that’s how it should be. I don’t blame my parents for the way my life is, my mother tried her best to raise me to be a good person. Many parents have lost their children before they grew up to be old enough; I may be short of love but I am grateful to be alive. I have hope that I shall one day meet my father and shake his hand, that I shall not perish before I’ve seen him again.
I tried to hold on to my faith and let it guide me, but that became difficult to do on a constant empty stomach. I hope that as I grow up and become older that my dreams will come true and my struggles written in stone. I hope that money will not be a determining factor in my life when I’m older as it is now. I hope that the man who is my father will come to know that I love him even though we have never met. I have hope.
I hope that men will be more courage and strong, that they will stand by their responsibilities of a father even if they and the mother are no longer together. I hope that men can come to understand that love is nothing to be ashamed of and that children need it from both of their parents. I can only hope that the fathers of the next generation will be present in their children’s lives and save them the misery, shame and heartache that I feel and have.
Love the dream writer, live it, embrace it, you will be loved as you are human too but they might not be with you. Believe me, you were loved and still are, until we meet again.
Tell us what you think: What do you think are the effects of growing up without a father in one’s life?