I loved just like everyone else. I know you think that this is a love story like Romeo and Juliet, but just wait till I get to the bottom of everything and see how love turned out to be a regular visit from hell.
I have opened the doors – which were supposed to remain closed for our own safety. That’s why life is divided into dimensions, which are unreachable. Until you are mature enough to enter through the gate, which is called death. Unfortunately, some of us reach it earlier than expected and some of us kind of think that they will exist forever. It was just a simple thought, which led to an idea and escalated into an action and an action gave birth to consequences and all of a sudden, the door was opened. I didn’t realize I’ve mastered the equation, and the equation was love.
Love: they say you fall into it. I did not fall in love, it had to grow inside of me. By the way, her name is Portia. She lives a few blocks down the road, and if you wanted to know the true definition of beauty. All you would have to do is to take a walk on a Sunday morning, and your world would pause for a minute when you see her walking. It would be as if she is walking down the aisle to meet her groom and that groom was none other than me, in my dreams. When my eyes opened, she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I used to play hide and seek with her when I was six. Growing up was such a funny feeling. I developed feelings when I was fourteen, they grew stronger when I was fifteen, and when I was sixteen, I was Just waiting in anticipation, like a flower waiting to bud in its season. I was in the shadows and I was so content that it wasn’t a lie but true love and things that we do for love sometimes costs us a life.
I used to like her but not anymore – things have changed since we matured, she can no longer be my friend anymore. I wanted her to be something more, “was that too much to ask for Lord…?” I waited years, just to say 3 simple words, that carried such a huge responsibility.
All I needed was one simple day and it was that day. My heart was burning; it had conceived these words for long enough. I had written a small letter and hid it in her literature book. I just hope she finds it, let me spell it out for you. “Portia, it’s been long enough that I have kept this secret from you, and now that you’re matured enough to understand that I have been observing you from an early age, since our youth. I have decided that I should let you know now that, I love you.”
That was just as simple as I could put it. I was itching for an answer too soon, but I heard they were leaving for a family outing and she was distracted by it. She never found it, she never read it, but one thing I know is: she did love me.
It was in the early morning when I heard, there’s been a car crash not so far from home. A white Bakkie went off-road. There were passengers sitting at the back of the Bakkie, who did not make it due to severe injuries. To me, I thought it can never be them, there are accidents every day. “Why does this one make me worried?” My world was in tremor. My stomach was twisting; the doors were closed. “Why isn’t she back yet?” Something did not add up. It was them. It was all over the township, I couldn’t believe it. It was too much to take in. Why would God hate me so much? What have I done to deserve this? We tend to forget that we are not here to stay. No matter how much we fall in love, it won’t keep us alive. She died a severe death. I wish death could negotiate, I was willing to take her place.
So, this was me confessing my love to a dead body, with tears all over. It was a brown coffin, with beautiful flowers over it and a picture of her best smile. She was beautiful, they opened the casket for those who wanted to see her for the last time. I was so convinced that it wasn’t the last time, I was convinced that I would definitely see her again. If it not in this world, then it would be in the next world to come, if there is any. So, if your soul mate dies, will there be a substitute.?. I couldn’t find any, and that’s why I went to find a way I could bring her back to life.
I’ve heard rumours about people who come back from the dead and connect with us. Sometimes invisible but they communicate verbally. Sometimes visible but with no physical contact. I’ve never kissed her; it was too early for that but I wanted to – just like all guys do to their girlfriends. I’ve read books, I’ve cracked formulas, and went into a deep search of things that could help, but nothing. One of the things that I tried which I wasn’t so sure if it would work or not because no-one has ever tried it before and it was just the last. This one book was written, “this formula cannot be reversed, do it at your own risk, it is not guaranteed that even the very author survived”. I took it for granted, it instructed me to take a sharp knife or needle, cut her name on my left hand, paste the blood’s name on the white paper and bury it. I did as I was instructed. The angel of death will, therefore, send messengers to look for her soul. I was desperately not thinking straight. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was young and possessed by love. Love that turned out to be a horrible visit from hell.
It’s been a couple of good years and nothing has happened yet. I’ve forgotten, and the name has disappeared on my left arm, and the paper I buried might have rotten too and eaten by the elements of the ground. I was starting to look for that one person that was made as a substitute for my soul mate. I even forgot that the warning said: “it cannot be reversed” and the time frame between the dimensions wasn’t the same, of which a day is a thousand years, and a thousand years is a day to them.
One night, just one night, everything was different. The sun, the moon, the stars, no signs, nothing was telling me what was about to happen. I was watching TV as usual until midnight. I fell asleep on the couch as normal and woke up in the middle of the night but when I took a walk to my room, I could see someone was already there before me. My room is straight from the passage, and the door was wide open. The window was projecting the light from the moon. It’s a young lady with straight hair facing the wall, I could only see the back of her hair, wearing a spotted dress. I thought it was Miley, with her farewell dress that had black and white spots on it, but she slept early before the 8 pm movie, and what would she be doing in my room at this time of the night. I had different conclusions, as I was approaching the vicinity of the door. The light switch was on my left hand, as I stretched my hand to reach it. I turned it on, and the light filled the room, as she turned her head to look at me. It was Portia. With blood all over the white dress.
Do you believe that we sometimes create problems for ourselves?