Here I am, at home in my room, with a rope on one hand and a letter on the other. Not knowing what pushed me into considering this foolish attempt. What happened that night was the worst of all.


“Are you going to the party later on?” asked Luvo, my best friend as we were sitting in my backyard.

“I’m not sure. Who’ll be there?” I asked.

“Anyone from CAMST will be there, including Buntu.” He replied with a grin on his face.

Nobuntu. When I think about her, my heart skips a beat. My mind doesn’t function properly whenever I see her. Curvaceous; not too dark in complexion and has a soft, angelic voice; the girl of my dreams.

“OK. I’ll be there,” I agreed with excitement. But I was also nervous at the same time. Every time I’m close to her, I want to exclaim something, but words get stuck in my throat. But I told myself that this night was the night of my life. She must know the truth.

Before Luvo left, he mumbled something that magnetized itself in my mind. “Nobuntu is interested in you. All you need to do is to man-up and go to her. Don’t be stupid and let her go.” He said. I knew that this was my chance.

I finally decided that whenever I see her at the party, I’ll go and talk to her, despite the crowd. But I must go to her prepared. That’s when I remembered one of my older brother’s advices about girls. “When you’re too nervous, take a few drinks to get you in the game.” He used to say.

I asked for money from my parents to ‘travel’ to the party. But had I lied. They gave me R200 and said that I should enjoy myself. I knew that I’ll do so and that I’ll bring a new ‘makoti’ in the family.

I made a quick stop at a shebeen near Kuti’s house. Kuti was my classmate and he was organising the party. In the shebeen, I bought half a bottle of Jameson whisky. I hoped that it would ‘get me in the game’. I couldn’t afford to mess this one opportunity that I have.

I made it to the party with my head spinning because of the whisky, but ready to PARTY. I saw Kuti first. I asked him if he had seen Sive, my other friend, or Luvo. He said that they were both by the pool.

I shuffled to the pool, feeling the music that was making me drunker. “You made it, my man.” Sive said, as I got closer to them.

“I seriously need a drink.” I exclaimed. We all walked to the bar and I ordered a double whisky on ice, imitating the male leading characters in action movies.

When I got my drink, I turned and noticed Nobuntu, walking past. I quickly gulped my drink in one go and walked to her direction. I took a turn right and saw her, kissing Sive.

I was humiliated, ashamed and hated both my friends because Luvo knew that I loved her and I was sure that he had told Sive, but he couldn’t control himself. I turned and ran away from the scene straight home.


That’s why I have a rope in one hand and a letter on the other hand. But then I snapped out of this foolish attempt and told myself that they’re not worth my life. And also there were a lot of fishes in the sea. I’ll find happiness. I’ll cope with the BETRAYAL!

[The End]