The reason why people are more likely to have negative attitude towards themselves is because society tends to name, shame and label them before they even start to embrace their unique flaws. They say, “You’re getting fat,” “you’re too skinny,” “your too dark” and “That’s not how man should speak, you’re too soft”. Ridiculous! Everyone has that factor that differentiates them from the rest. Our society has to find ways on how to be more accepting and be more open-minded on issues they do not understand. We need to educate ourselves about certain topics that we do not understand, that’s being a responsible citizen.
We are adults now. When you want to comment on someone’s looks, personality, character etc. think before you speak and imagine if what you want say would be okay if it was imposed on you. Words are powerful so they could either build or destroy. Societal expectations do not define you, people will always talk and that should not take anything from you because you are enough the way you are.
You are something, you are special, you are valuable, you have something good to offer that can make a world a better place. Yes you are not perfect but you are worth it. Do not try to change who you are to meet societal expectations because that will only cause so much unhappiness in your life.
Steve Jobs says, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life”.
Society has to embrace your differences because it can’t change who God says you are. Naming, shaming, labelling, stereotyping and stigmatising aren’t okay! The minute you start to name call someone for something they can’t change about themselves, you begin to dig a deep, painful hole into their hearts. It takes time to fill that void.
While growing up, I experienced a lot of emotional abuse and that transcended into high school and it almost deterred my confidence a little bit. I’m weird yes but weirdo is life. I remember while I was still in high school I had a conversation with a very close friend of mine, Kgomotso Radinthe. We were just talking about life and in the middle of the conversation she asked me a question, “Friend, how do you feel and cope everyday with how people act towards you? Like in a bad way?”
At that moment it was so deep because it was not often that someone would ask me how I really felt. In my mind, I wanted to ask her how she felt when people said something mean to me.
I responded, “I think when you have a sense of purpose in life it’s easy not to care about what people say about you. I’m labelled by God and I am who God says I am. People will always talk and that’s okay. It hurts I won’t lie but I just have to move on and make peace with it. I’ve gained confidence along the way and I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin irrespective of how people feel about my character.”
People who judge and shame other people for being who they are very problematic to society, because they contribute to a broken society of young men and women who grow up to carry the pain and torments into their adulthood. Everybody needs therapy.
May the greatness and the strength within you help you find healing as we continue to heal in colour from the deepest pains that we as society have caused.
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