I feel like putting ink on paper. I feel like sharing how I feel with a mirror. Sometimes an escape will do just once. I am in tears but I refuse to cry. I am down but I am holding onto something that has always been up there. I am done. I do not need to justify my every moment. I am lonely because I’ve chosen to isolate myself from this empty space full of many lies and deceptions. I’ve tried to be out there but my body and mind can’t deal with this toxic environment. Let me not speak rather let my actions act for me.
I have been used. I tried to understand why people always do this to me. My kindness seems not enough for them. Why did you have to unlock all the doors of my walls to use me? You should have asked then I would have given you willingly what you desire. It shouldn’t have had to end up here. What you have done has left me insecure about lots of stuff. The little that you have stolen from me matters to someone that is by you. I could have shared but you chose an easy way for you. I guess selfishness has no colour, no boundaries. You call yourself many things to me but you clearly do not show those traits.
I understand, says a man who’s been through it all. I understand. He understands until he stops and cuts you out of his life completely. He understands until he stops forgiving and showing sympathy. Stop making him understand because he will soon understand that he does not matter in your life any more.