I can’t believe it was a couple of months ago when I sat in the same position and wrote ‘A new day‘ something that came from my soul to heal my heart but also the hearts of many. I wrote that because something told me there was someone who needed to read it, someone who was going through a similar situation as me. I promised myself every time I felt down I would go back and read it, the comments always lifted me up.

This week marks my first week in varsity, the new beginning I asked from the universe and received. I’m really sad to say that it hasn’t been the red roses and blush pink smell of perfume I was expecting. I am drowning in assignments, tests, financial duress and the one thing I had trusted is failing me – myself.

I don’t know what happened to the girl that was filled with so much happiness, courage, and hope. I keep catching glimpses of her in the mirror. I hear her calling out in my dreams asking me to save her and I try to reach out, sometimes I save her but it’s like as the sun rises the stronger the power that’s trying to bury her gets.

I have come so far, so, so far for it end this way. Why is this happening to me? My tears fall and I don’t have the strength to stop them; I need you to come and save me as I am not sure where this is heading. There are thoughts that are running in my mind and I am afraid, I cannot go back there again, I wouldn’t survive. I need a breather; I need my mother.

Or maybe I’m overreacting, this is me being childish. How do I expect to be babied, this is the space I screamed for, this is what I asked for. People are going through so much worse and here I am crying over stupid things. Didn’t I say I wanted to go to school? Am I not here?


Tell us: How is school life under lockdown?