It was a very windy night, silence all over except that our eyes were making a noise to convey every emotion we felt. Sitting on his terrace, caressing his wedding ring, I was smiling, but deep down I was hurt.

“What are you smiling at now?” he asked.

I could not answer because I was scared to let him know how I felt.

I replied, “I’m so happy for you, congratulations, dear.”

“Hmm, can I ask you something? And please be honest,” he said, keeping his head over my shoulder.

“What?” I asked, whispering in his ear.

“I don’t know. It’s my wedding in a few weeks, but I feel so empty. I fear losing you as if I’m doing something wrong. I will miss you. I know that I love her, but I’m so happy when I’m with you. I fear that maybe you won’t be the same for me like you are now and I won’t have you by my side.”

“But you have her, your wife, she will love you and will always be there for you,” I said.

Then he asked, “Will you be happy?”

I said nothing.

“I’m asking, will you be happy?” he repeated, looking at me, and I could see that he was serious.

“Love, you have a soulmate now and in your happiness lies mine, so yes, I will be happy.”

He stood up and I could see that he was frustrated.

“Hmm, why do you always do this? Why don’t you ask me to stay? Why can’t you say that you will miss me and need me? Why do you want to see me happy even if it hurts you? I will never understand why you always agree to whatever I want? Why do you sacrifice your happiness?” he asked, frustrated.

“Enough sweetheart, relax, it’s fine,” I said.

“Just tell me why?” he asked, and held my hands.

Then I said, “I love you even if you hurt me. I love you even if you always disappoint me. It hurts, but I love you. I wish I could love you less after everything you have said. If we should never see each other again then all I ask is that you preserve the memory of us happily. Don’t remember when I cried, just remember that I laughed. Don’t remember how difficult I was to reach, only that I was incredible to hold.”

Our thoughts are a dream house, we want something so bad, but we can’t have it.

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