Dear Diary
07 September 2020

I am Nobuhle. Yes I am the girl who struggled with my identity and self-love. My blackness became my biggest enemy.
When my parents died when I was 14 and Mrs Naidoo adopted me. She loved and adored me but still I had no self-esteem.

We lived in a predominantly white town called Kempton park. I hated everything that’s black, my short hair and black skin. I had white friends, I talked and walked like them. Unfortunately, I could not change the colour of my skin, so I would wear bright colours at least they brightened me and I wouldn’t feel inferior.

I believed being black is associated with slavery. Last month I was diagnosed with depression. I attended therapy sessions but I never participated or listened. Until today when I met Nomadlozi, a socio-cultural anthropologist. She shared a story with us, this is the story:

A long time ago in this world there were only black women. As time went on people migrated to different parts of the world. As people moved further away from the equator, their skin stopped producing melanin (which makes us black) and their skin, eyes and hair became lighter and lighter.

That’s why we have black and white people, our skin is nothing but a natural reaction to the environment we live in. People who live in hotter regions develop darker skin to protect them from strong sun rays. People who live in colder regions develop short and stout bodies to retain heat.

I learnt that it is okay to be different. We should just learn to love and understand our beings. Today I understand being black is not a curse, but a blessing. My biggest enemy was my mind.

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