Ndilihlwili namhlanje ngenxa yokungazi
Ingaba bobona bom bam obu? Ndibawela ukuvuswa kulamaphupha. Kodwa enyanisweni,bundiza emhlana nasemadolweni. Ikamva limfiliba andisathembanga. Hayi ndiyaxoka ithemba likho ntonje uba uMdali angandiyeka, ngxebe angasusa imiqobo endleleni yam enyanisweni ndingahambela phambili. Hayi makandinike amandla okunyamezela ndizilwele.
Ndicinga konke oko kwaqala nje emva koba ndiliflathele elokuzalwa ndisithi ndiyokhangela obungcono, phi ke? Ndasuka ndafumana itswazi zikanobom. Impilo khange ibiyilento bendizizobela yona. Ewe kakade bendingengo Thixo kuyatshiwo nangoku ukuba izicwangciso zezethu kodwa isigqibo seSakhe.
Ukushiya ikhaya akuyondlwana iyanetha ingakumbi xa ukuqala oko. Mhla ndiqala ukushiya ikhaya ndandinoncumu ndinomfanekiso omhle wempatho yangaphambili nje ngoba yayibalisiwe, ungothuka wome uba ukuvalelisa ku mama wam ndakwenza kakanye ngokuya ndandiqala uthatha uhambo,kumatyeli alandelayo ndandingayenzi lonto leyo ngenxa yokuzonda impatho.
Umnini mzi andinomxoka yena wayenabo Ubuntu kangangoko kodwa inzala yakhe andingetsho, kwakonakele apho into enentliziyo ejinga kwesimnyama umntu ongafuni nento yokwenza negazi lakhe, uxolele okuyoma ngodonga labumini adibana nalo umlomo ugcwele inyanda zamazinyo. Andigxeki nto nalapho izigqibo zezakhe.
Ndineemini endathi ndazibhala edolweni, okokuqala kumhla ndandithukelwa ubuvila bam. Kulapho ndabona khona ukuba libheke umoya, zange zehla ngamqala mnye kwantlandlolo kwakudluliswa nje usana kunina mhla ndifika ndisamkelwa. Umntu engenantloni ethethatha ukuphixa enxibe isinxibo sobu Krestu. Kaloku yayimini yeNkonzo ngalomhla kungo Mgqibelo ezintsukwini uba ndisakhumbula kakuhle. Obona buvila bam ke kwakungakwazi udumisa umtshini phofu endandivele ndiwubone sele uduma nam. Ndathi ndisajonge leyo ke into ndatshona ikota yesibini kwibanga lesixhenxe, kanti uThixo usebenza emfihlakalweni. Inene wona umyalazo owawu ngam ingengowam ke phofu wafika ezindlebeni de weza nasemehlweni wehla wayakuhlala kumazantsi entliziyo,wawuna magama arhabaxa sele ndingenguye nomntu kulo myalezo ndisisilwanyana sasekhaya.
Amanye awo esithi “ngase iphinde intshone le (isilwanyana sasekhaya kwisikhomokazi) izohamba apha,” ngethamsanqa uThixo wadihlangula nalapho. Emva kwalo myalezo yeza igaleleka kunjalo nje ingayeki kwaphela imiyalezo, ndiphatha kwenziwa isela ngezinye imini ndibuyele kubu xelengu bam. Nam ke ngobuntwana ndathatha konke ndakusa entliziyweni kulapho ndavele ndakrazuka bubini andazi nendiyaziyo ndaye ndaphazamiseka kanobom emva kwezozinganeko andazi neyona iyiyo hayi ndandi sisiphithiphithi ndingazi noba kuyasa noba kuyahlwa ngenxa yokuphoxeka. Mhlambi nam ndandisele ndithembe kakhulu okanye ngulomzobo ndandizakhele wona lo wandiphoxayo. Zange ndigqwithize ekhayeni kuphela kodwa esikolweni ndandibamba ndiyeka.
Eyona nto yayindenza oko zingcinga namazwi ayenkenteza mihla nezolo esalana noba ndicinge kwindawo epholileyo. Uvele ugqityelwe kungekho namnye okhe weva icala lakho. Eyona nto yayisele indonwabisa kukuvuka ndiye esikolweni inene wawunocinga ndizikhuthalele nezoncwadi kuba ndandisiya nakwi klasi zempela veki. Ewe kaloku kulapha ndandisithi noba ndiyaphazama ndaziswe ngendlela esemgangathweni ukuze ndilungise ukunyathela kwam.
Yayiye yona ndawo ingqondo yam ikwazi khona ukuphumla iyeke ucanda amathafa angenamthinzi. Abanye abantwana bekonwabela nje ugoduka kum kwakungenjalo. Ndihlala ndizibuza babephi abantu bondikhuthaza mhla ndikwintsunguzi zobom. Ntsuku ndandigqwithiza ebomini. Ndineminyaka elishumi elinesine kuphela indoda iphantse ukundindlwengula. Wathi uThixo sele endisindisile kwisihange ndasuka ndathatha esona sigqibo sadishiya ndikrazuke kubini. Ukukhalela ezandleni zomnntu ndithi ndenza ubulumko kanti ndichitha ikamva lam. Ndacetyeswa kanti ndiyoyeliswa ukuze kumane kukhonjwa kusithwa nalo akamsulwa.
Apho ke ndingalithatha ityala kuba kakade ndathatha inxaxheba nam ndaluva olonwabo lomzuzwana. Ewe ndalubuyisa unyawo zange ndithi mazilime ziye etyeni sekunjalo. Nalapho ingcebiso zikadyakalashe zeza kodwa ndisele ndibethekile zafa namthanyana, kodwa ke okwenzekileyo kufana nokudaliwe asina kutshintsha. Kwakusele konakele kade singenakuthini mna ndilahlekwe sisithunzi sam nobuntombi bam. Kodwa ke ndisengu yelo ndisamile nakwezo nqwithelo.
Kakade engadluliyo bathi iyahlola. Ndingatsho ndithi impatho yakho nengcebiso zenu ntombezinkulu nangona zakubulala tu okwethemba kum zandifundisa ukuphila, kodwa bendibawela ukunazisa ukuba bona ubulolo bam busahlola nangoku, kona ukwethemba andikakwazi. Ndithi mandithi maz’enethole zintokazi zange zizale maduna zaza namathokazi izenzo zanu, kuba inzondo ibonakala emehlweni kum nokuthetha kwam kukubhodla umlilo.
Nindibona ndibulela nje andibuleli mpatho nangcebiso okanye intuthuzelo zenyembezi zikaxam enanililisana ngazo nam ebumnyameni, hayi ndibulela ukundivusa emaqandeni engekaboli kwangethuba ndibone amahlandenyuka obom ndiselula. Amandla asekhona nexesha lokutshintsha izigqibo lisekho. Ndibulela ukangaweva ngembali amaqhina obom kodwa ndiwenyuke ngokwam, ndingeva kuthwa kuyahlaba koko ndibonise izivubeko nokubangula ameva omga.
Ndine mbali yokuthuthuzela ndivale izikroba ezivuleka ebomini babanye noxa mna owam omgxunya entliziyweni usavulekile. Andazi ke uxolo nabo ndinalo na lona kodwa andingetsho kuba kaloku ndithi ndakubona amazinyo enu ejonge ilanga. Zibuye zonke ezokukhula kube ngathi nihleka impumelelo yezenzo zenu.
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