Being a 20-year-old in the 21st century is not an easy thing; you’re in constant need of validation from your peers and family because you’re not sure what to do with your life. You keep trying different things to see which one works best for you. Do you ever feel like you’re just existing and not living? If you answered yes then this is for you.

I remember the day I turned 18. I woke up feeling like an adult, I thought everything would just fall into place, I was wrong. First of all I didn’t know anything about adulthood but I thought I was ready. When I finished matric I was so happy, I thought I was ready to get a job and earn my own money, little did I know that it doesn’t work like that.

I am originally from Zimbabwe but I’ve been in South Africa for most of my life. Being a foreigner means for me to be able to work and study I need the proper documentation; without that I can’t do anything. I have been waiting for four years for the documents, four years. I finished matric 2018 so that means I’ve been sitting at home since then doing nothing.

At first I was happy, I didn’t have a problem with sitting at home the whole day doing nothing, I had been in school for 12 years, I thought I deserved the break.

Eventually I got tired and bored of sitting at home, I started getting anxious about the document situation, I started feeling useless because other kids my age were busy progressing in life whilst I was at home doing nothing — I wasn’t even able to get a job.

At the beginning of 2020 I started becoming depressed, some days I wouldn’t even want to get up in the morning because I didn’t see the point of it all.

I spoke to a friend of mine and she knocked some sense into me. She made me realise that everyone is different, we all walk different paths to achieve the same goal. One day I know it will be alright, it’s all part of God’s plan, He knows best. So if you ever feel like you’re useless, like you’re just existing and not living, just know God is with you each and every step. You may not understand why things are happening the way they are, take it all to the Lord in prayer, he will surely guide and help you.


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