The world is a beautiful and an amazing place. It never ceases to amaze us especially when we least expect it to. One could be walking in the dark for the longest time, almost giving up hope only to realise that it was actually a long road to success.
Take your time to read through this essay to understand why this world is magical. When I was a little kid, I would write about all the things happening in the house I lived in. Sometimes, if I could not explain things verbally, I would write them down. This happened a lot because I was not a talkative kid. No one knew or understood what was going on, the same applies to me as I was still very young.
This went on and on until I reached high school where I met people who kind of showed me the light. I started hanging out with them a lot and, we would usually write rap lyrics using a dictionary. Using a dictionary did not only help us out with grammar, but it also helped us with bombastic words that enhanced our punchlines a lot. It felt good but at the same time it felt as though I was committing the biggest sin ever. Something was missing, I just could not put my finger to it.
In the eleventh grade, the rap thing was still taking place. It was when I thought maybe I enjoyed writing down lyrics than having to “spit them out” (rapping them). That thought was not taken to head though. Earlier that year, we had to do different activities in school, which mostly consisted of sports. I did not have the energy or the confidence to do physical activities, so I joined a poetry class instead. Guess what? For the first time in so many years, it felt like home.
There was a reason why it felt like home. The reason was that, every time I had to ‘spit’ (rap) my lyrics, I would get tongue tied or I would find myself stumbling over my lyrics. Sometimes my rap lyrics would turn into poetry. The lyrics would eventually turn into verses, which sounded much better when recited.
It is funny how I turned a blind eye to all the signs that were there. I remained persistent with this rap thing although it did not work out for me. Maybe the reason behind my persistence was that I was afraid of what the crew would say. Being termed fake and all those nasty comments was the last thing I needed. So I continued with rapping until the year 2017.
In 2017, I upgraded my results in college since I did not have anything serious to do. I could not afford another gap year. I met a lot of fascinating people in that college, people with different talents, interests and knowledge. It happened that in the middle of the year, an old friend of mine decided to hook up a rap battle which I was invited to. People were throwing punchlines, it was hectic, fun and tempting all at once. I decided, why not? Although I was so nervous. When I got in the circle to do my thing, my mind and tongue were not running in the same pace so they decided to betray me.
The next thing I knew, I was the laughing stock. I could not even finish the first line. At that moment, the terms “humiliated” and “embarrassed” described the whole of me. If there was a chance for me to leave the country and never come back, I would have grabbed the opportunity with both hands.
With all that happened, I picked myself up and walked tall like it was nothing. I realised that was my ‘aha’ moment. What I mean is, yes, rap is poetry but that was not the kind of poetry assigned for me. Even though it was in unpleasant circumstances that this had to show, I was and still grateful for that.
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