Being buddies for a decade is not something to be taken lightly. Thus, calling you a friend is an understatement because to me, you’re one of my brothers. From primary to high school we had people looking up to us, both seniors and juniors. Some parents would say touching phrases such as “I wish my son liked school like you do my boys” or “I like how you behave my children, I pray to God that you never change”.

I remember all the plans we had and how we drew our future in our teen minds. “I will never smoke nor drink,” we used to say. When I got home late my grandmother would shout at me, but if I told her I was with you she would calm down because to her, you were the right friend for me. She believed you would never lead me stray from the ‘right path’ she wanted to see me walk on for the rest of her life.

I still remember how your mother (may her soul rest in peace) adored our friendship and how your father would sometimes join our conversations, speaking Afrikaans knowing we couldn’t understand. How he would laugh at us when we asked him to rephrase in IsiXhosa or English.

Innocent days when we would spend the whole Saturday debating about our school work. The days when you used to challenge my knowledge about certain high school subjects even though I was one grade ahead of you. Do you remember, how you would come to my place in the morning before physics or mathematics exams to verify the calculation you made when practising the previous night?

I miss those days when we didn’t have to be under the influence of alcohol to go after girls; those days when I was better than you in the ‘dating game’. Those days when you would walk with me when I went to see my girlfriend at the time. Do you still remember the time you told me about the ‘chick’ you had the hots for and I beat you to her? Damn sani that relationship ended up so badly that I still remember how happy you were, but none of that ruined our friendship. Instead it became stronger than it ever was.

What happened mfethu?

The life we are living today is not the one we foresaw in the earlier years. I don’t know about you, but to me, it feels like I’ve lost myself. If this is growing up, Lord let me not. Every weekend we fill our bodies with ethanol dilutes. We grew up telling each other when one or the other did something that was wrong. Somehow we both found this path suitable for us.

I won’t lie to you fethu – I wanted to have a taste of the way we currently live our lives. I wanted to be able to give reasons from my personal experience why it is wrong to walk on this path. Now, I have had enough and I would like us to take a different route. I so wish that you would join me in this journey of change.


Tell us what you think: Did you ever have a friendship like this?