From the very first time he saw the sun, he knew that he was not good enough. Not good enough for the person whose name was the first he ever spoke – the person who had made him what he was – his bitter and angry mother. He would not have been able to know what was happening around him then, but the life he lived from there on was proof.
Growing up was very hard for him. Not because of what he did, but because of the decision someone made even before he was planned or conceived – well, that is, if he was planned at all! Life is not fair.
He was raised by a single mother and, like any child, he was always asking about his father. But, like any mother who is hiding something about her past from her son would, she lied to him.
He was never really bothered by her, but then things started getting out of hand. His mother was always drunk and saying things that would break him down, but I guess she never really succeeded, because he was still alive. She would say that his father was a monster, and he was just a younger version of him. At the age of fifteen he was labelled a man and, one night, he was told to go and start his own family and make his own home – he was thrown out.
They lived in a very odd place. It was not a town; it was just a place in the middle of nowhere. They had no neighbours and the house was surrounded by a very large forest. This meant that he actually had nowhere to go.
She told him that she did not want him; that, actually, she had never wanted him. She said he was a burden, an obstacle that stood in the way of her living ‘the life’. “What life?”, he wondered aloud. After all, they lived in the middle of nowhere. What kind of a mother was she? It was a dark night outside. It was the middle of July and the weather was cold and windy. It was so very quiet in the absence of any other people.
He wanted to cry but was too confused, angry and numb to give in to tears. He was icy cold and was beginning to shake. He had no idea where to go. Everything was happening so fast, that it took him a while to actually believe what was happening. He was still sitting outside the cottage door, now actually crying his heart out. He did not understand what was going on – could not believe that his own mother had taken him by the neck of his jersey and thrown him out like yesterday ’s rubbish. “What could he have done to her?” he was full of questions but could find no answers.
He had to stop crying at some point and eventually he did. The harsh reality had struck him. He was out and he was alone. He had nowhere to go, no family around, his mother was the only family he had. And very oddly, she also had no friends. She had a psychotic personality that everyone feared. She had red eyes, black make-up and long black robes. “How did he get here?” he asked the sky, heartbroken.
He started hearing strange noises in the night and felt scared. He went back to the house, moving slowly towards the door, and began knocking. He knocked so hard that the dogs began to bark at him. The lights came on and he could hear his mother descending the staircase, coming to the door, moaning loudly. She opened the door violently, gripping an axe above her head with both hands. He jerked away and fell on his back, causing the axe to break the floor tiles next to his head. She was fuming like a lunatic.
She lifted it again for another try, but again she missed him, hitting the tiles instead. He managed to get up and run. He ran as fast as he could, attempting to get far away from her. He reached the fence and tried to move through a large hole in it, but it caught his pants and he was stuck. He could hear sounds behind him, as though she was following him, but he wasn’t sure. Finally, he managed to free himself! However, the struggle to get free had wounded him and he was limping. His heart was pounding and his chest was wet with sweat. He ran so much that, eventually, he could not feel his legs moving anymore and didn’t feel any pain. It was all so unreal but his only focus was on getting away from his crazy mother.
He arrived at the main road, but there were no cars moving. It was deathly quiet and it felt like anything could happen at any moment.
He did not know whether to turn left or right, so he ran straight over to the other side instead. There was more forest on that side and he was breathing heavily. He ran until he fell down next to a tree, where he lay down for a short while, to catch his breath. But how could he? There was no time for a small break, she was catching up! It was like running away from a ghost, he just could not get away from her. Unfortunately for him, a shadow came out from behind him and crept towards him. He did not notice, but it was her! She had caught up with him, that devil!
I screamed to tell him that she was behind him with an axe, but he could not hear me! I mean, what was I expecting? I was watching a horror movie, for crying out loud! ‘Murderer’. What a tragic death the boy suffered. And what a cruel mother. I switched off the T.V and went to sleep. My mother hates it when I watch these late night movies and, anyway, it was a school night.
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