Whenever I think about her, I get angry. I feel annoyed because she ruined my life. My name is Cassandra.

I was about 10 years old when she decided she didn’t want me any more. I remember the other day she came home drunk around 7 pm. She told me that I was a mistake and mistakes are never meant to stay long, as seeing them many times is a sin. She said I was old enough to figure myself out. That’s how I moved out of my mother’s house, actually my home. I started suffering. I felt different from other kids, I had nothing but my school uniform and the pipe I slept on.

At 14, I made a friend from school, Maria. She loved me and made me her sister. I felt welcome at her home, as they all understood my situation. I knew what mother’s love was. I knew how it felt to have a sister and go to school happy.

Things changed when Maria got older and started having new friends. She failed her matric and I passed with three distinctions. Her mother never changed, she was even willing to send me to university, but Maria kicked me out. Ms Makheba had no say because her daughter said it was either her or me.

I felt the world ending because I knew life was going back to square one. I wanted to continue studying but I was unable to do that. I had no one, no money, I was just alone in life. I gave up on having good things in life; crime was the only option. Being a criminal was better than selling my body.

I had to do in life, even though I was a mistake, but I knew mistakes were not cheap because people leant from them. I started my mission alone. I used to steal cars like no one’s business, and I had a loyal buyer. As time went on, I recruited both ladies and gents. They liked my job and so did I. We became partners in crime and nothing separated us. I had fun, I had money, I had everything I wished for and needed. I owned the world.

One rainy day I went out on a mission but sadly I killed a beautiful woman and I was thrown in jail. Things changed from happiness to sadness, from hero to zero. I got a life sentence after finding out I was always wanted for stealing cars. I had never meant to kill her.

If Mommy was with me in life, I wouldn’t have been a criminal that’s sitting in a cell. I would have been something better in life. If I knew my dad and I was really a mistake to Mama, I would have had somewhere to go. The pain I am going through is unbearable. I wish no one had to go through it.

I know nothing about life. What I know is I’m in jail.

Tell us: Cassandra ended up in jail and not in varsity, what are your thoughts?