“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places” – Ernest Hemingway.

Everyone would be perfect in a perfect world. Unfortunately things don’t work like that. You will be hurt, traumatised, abused and many other unfortunate things, but all that doesn’t matter. What matters is how you carry yourself after the heartbreak, how you choose to live and treat others; the steps you take to recovery.

I decided to share some very common steps to recovery, steps to mental stability, using my experience as well as some psychological advice, and I hope it will help you as it helped me. Remember, mental illness isn’t a personal failure, it’s something you can heal from.

Here are the 10 steps that helped me on my journey:

1. Get out of your comfort zone
2. Let go of bad mental habits
3. Allow yourself to feel
4. Be emotionally flexible
5. Avoid getting triggered
6. Let your walls down
7. Have fewer or no expectations
8. Be patient with yourself
9. Maintain healthy eating habits
10. Be constructive

1. Get out of your comfort zone

Yubing Zhang began her TED talk saying, “Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone”. This is a stage where many people fail to cope, usually because of fear and it is seen through the story shared by Zhang. She explained that when she was at the top of the one of highest buildings to bungee jump, she almost gave up on the leap, but when she looked to her side, she saw the words that were her stepping-stone: “It’s not as scary as it looks”. With that she jumped, getting outside her comfort zone.

One thing that makes people emotionally ill is staying in their comfort zone and this comes in different ways. I was disturbed with sleepless nights, anxiety, panic attacks and nightmares. After so many weeks of going through these experiences it became my comfort zone. I was okay with my nightmares, with waking up during the night trying to calm myself down from an anxiety attack. As long as nobody knew about it, I was okay.

But it all changed when I had to share a room with one of my cousins who would constantly question my behaviours after a nightmare or anxiety attack. She was always concerned and scared. She wanted me to get help as soon as possible. With her around, I knew I needed to do something which meant getting out of my comfort zone, and letting someone in. This didn’t come easy. I was scared of telling anyone but at the same time, this comfort zone I had created for myself was ruining me.

As Bill Eckstrom, a coach in leadership and growth, said: “What makes you comfortable can ruin you, and only in a state of discomfort can you continually grow.”

You need to create a space for yourself, a space that allows you to come out of your shell and it doesn’t matter if you’re scared, in fact we’re all scared of coming out of our comfort zone, but life is a constant fight against your comfort zone.

Tell us: Are there any situations in your life that caused you to come out of your comfort zone?