Chikondi was in love with her teacher and so was he with her. One Saturday evening he invited her out to Zilikuno hotel. He had planned a beautiful evening for the two of them. He intended to sleep with her that evening. However, Chikondi was HIV positive, she had already told him this, but he saw it as her way of trying to fend off his sexual advances towards her. She told him that they had to use protection (a condom) but he ignored her. He thought that she was lying to him, because he thought, ‘how could someone so pretty be so sick’. He forgot that beauty was only skin deep.
She was frustrated at the fact that he refused to believe or understand her. How could she love someone who didn’t understand that she was only trying to protect him? She eventually gave into his advances. She did it because she feared losing him. She forgot all about protecting him and slept with him without using any protection. Afterwards she was filled with guilt and regret. She didn’t enjoy it like she thought she would’ve, her thoughts interfered with her sense of feeling. All she thought about was her infecting him with the virus.
Chikondi told him how much she hated him for forcing her to do it without any protection. But he was confused to what she really meant. She told him that it hurt her feelings that he didn’t take her advice. She told him that he would soon find out what she meant and he would hate her for it. Chikondi then asked him to drive her back home and he did. After dropping her off, he was thinking about what she had told him the whole drive to his house.
The next Monday morning he went for a VCT test because he’d been thinking about what she had said that entire weekend. He had an HIV/Aids test done and it came out negative. He was however told to visit the clinic again after three month. Upon getting home he texted Chikondi informing her about his results. He told her that she was a liar and that if she didn’t love him then she should have said so, instead of saying that she was HIV positive. She then told him that she had told him the truth and that if he didn’t believe her, then he would see it for himself the next time he went for testing.
Three months later, he went for his second HIV/Aids test. This time around the test results came out positive. He couldn’t believe it, he was in shock and disbelief. He was then advised to attend counselling to help him cope with his status.
After leaving the clinic he made his way to Chikondi’s home to confront her. When he arrived there, he demanded to know why she didn’t tell him about her status before they slept together. But she told him that she had warned him and told him to use protection and that it was he who chose to ignore her. He called her very hurtful names and told her that she was evil and had no conscience, then he left. When he was gone, she felt more guilt than she had ever felt in her life. All she wanted was for him to love her, and she thought that he would once she gave him what he wanted. In her state of anguish she felt so alone. She then wrote a suicide note then hung herself.
“Where did I lost my conscious? I thought it will be easy fighting for loved one’s protection. Ah my goodness, now it has come a burden upon my own chest. Oh Lord, pardon my disparagement, am not worth living, “she wrote.
When he arrived at his home a whirlwind of thoughts were running through his head. He wanted her out of his life, he wished that he had never met her. He thought about her looks and what she really had to offer. He regretted not listening or paying attention to her when she told him that she was HIV positive. He thought about how many people he knew and judged by their outward appearances.
He wondered who else had a big secret to hide. He vowed to himself that he would never take a person at face value again. Then that evening he received a call from Chikondi’s friend next door, she informed him that Chikondi had died, that she took her own life. From shock he fainted, knocking his head hard on the edge of the bedside table and bled to death right there in his own bedroom.