I was a lover who couldn’t love herself. Invested all my time, energy and every piece of me in a soul. His happiness and desires were priority. I sacrificed a lot for him, only to find myself wiping tear after tear after tear.

Growing up, every lesson came from losing a loved one. First my parents, then my brother the following year. I tried to pull myself together and tried to be strong. Every time I thought I had found love, something would always happen and leave me in tears. But this time, it was different.

I thought I had found something real for the first time. It felt real. Every time I prayed for strength, the beauty that I thought I had. I believed that it was him finally touching my life, removing all the pain and suffering I went through. I believed that finally a breakthrough occurred, but the sad thing is that it was too good to be true.

Reality made me believe I was loved and cared for. Since everything was so beautiful and convincing. I fell so deep but I realised that no one will be there to catch me when I reach the bottom. I enjoyed living in the moment, I saw a bright and promising future ahead, not knowing that in the future I’d be standing all alone.

My love made me look desperate and he enjoyed every moment of it. He made me feel like I was not good enough for him. He made me question my existence. He made me question my faith. Honestly, I never thought I would get to wake up someday only to find out that it was all just another phase where I had to learn the hard way.

My heart might be broken, but the walls of my life are still standing. Therefore, I still believe that maybe one day there will come a day with no more pain and sorrow. Where I will get to find my happiness again. Until then, may the Lord continue being my saviour.

The lesson in all this is to remain true to yourself. Don’t let anything shake your faith and don’t ever think it can’t happen to you.
Maybe one day…

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