It all started as a dream; all the doors we shattered, it felt like I was in a dark pit with nowhere to run to. I tried to keep my life in one piece, but I failed, I tried pretending that I was happy, but I was deceiving myself.
As a child, I was always happy. I came out of my mother’s womb crying but it wasn’t long before I started crawling. The tears I cried were not happy tears; they were tears of a broken heart, but no one knew that. All I know is that I brought a smile to the face of the woman who carried me for nine months. My mother brought me into this world with no distortions or any kind of illness. At the time, I was still innocent, not a sinner, born free without any bitterness inside of me.
A few years after my birth my parents split, taking my innocence away and replacing it with darkness that drained me. I felt lost and broken; everything that I did was a disaster. I had bad thoughts, I became like a monster; my mind filled with evil thoughts. I had an imaginary friend that didn’t allow me to share anything with my family and made me do bad things. On the outside, it seemed like I was living a holy life. I worshiped God and had an innocent face, no one thought me capable of having a dark side.
At the time, I was confused about who I was and how to live my life. My days would sometimes start off happy and end in dark misery. I listened to people giving me advice on the things that they thought I was struggling with, including my mother but the dark side of me always thought the opposite of whatever positive things anyone had to say. I would slap myself or hit myself hard on the head out of my own frustration with whatever I was dealing with and tell myself that I was truly a monster. At times like those I usually harmed myself.
I became afraid of living my life for those who cared about me didn’t really know me. I pushed them away because I had to adhere to the evil in my soul. I felt like an occult worshipper who had given herself over to the devil; I was always angry and became angrier as time went on. I didn’t know at the time where I was headed because I was a lost soul.
Do you believe that the character in the story’s parents are to blame for how she felt?