No, don’t blame it on God. You did all this yourself. Don’t blame it on all the boys. Some of them never heard about you and if they knew about you, they wouldn’t go anywhere near you.
Do you still remember that poor boy that started spreading rumours about dating you? He was so into you. He planned his future with you even before approaching you. He loved you.
You confronted him and told him he wasn’t your type but he didn’t give up. After a few years he made his move; he was ready for you. You told him he was boring. You looked at him and asked yourself what he was going to give you. But your mind couldn’t provide an answer cos you were empty headed and your empty pride couldn’t let you notice that.
The poor boy waited for you to come to your senses, not knowing that you knew nothing about love. Yet you kept on changing boys and you made sure he knew about all the charmer-boys you were dating.
Instead of hating you, he hated himself. He thought he was a loser. He lost interest in girls. He blamed God and thought he was just a curse. He only imagined his world with you and nobody else.
He wrote some sad poems and sad stories. He wrote love songs about the love he only had in mind and never experienced. You enjoyed calling him names. Making fun of what he was. Saying “O bolaya ke letswai,” meaning he’s sleeping alone.
You thought you were living your life to the fullest, not realising you were living your friends’ fantasy. All the guys you dated were suggested by them and not you. And some you dated to make them jealous. Now that poor boy is making money out of the pain you caused him. His songs, poems and stories are only sad on scripts but bring him joy.
He forgot he started writing to ignore the pain you caused him and was more determined to write positive things because of the positive response he got from his followers. He is gone and he is not coming back. Your friends are married and have moved on. They only call you when they want to hear something to gossip about.
You are stuck in life with kids from different men. You dated them because they had cars and now they moved on. They had cars because they were never there to stay. They wanted a woman and not a dependent and unambitious burden like you.
Now you say that “men are the same”. Are you not the same as those who made the wrong decisions like you? Well, now that you have learned a lesson, please open your eyes. Do not judge people by how they look and what they say or how they say it. Ask people what they are capable of. Bring them closer and get to know them.
Shifting blame will do you no good but it will be much better to stand on your own and take decisions for your own life. Your friends know who you are but not what you are capable of. Let them not be the influence to your relationships because they will not share all the commitments and responsibilities with you.
Be wise and learn to appreciate.
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