I am constantly changing and I believe you are too, but what makes you think you have the right to judge other people based on their appearance?

My name is Anelisa and I am a big-boned, light-skinned girl and I am proud! I’ve always been a good child; at school, at home and in the neighbourhood. But things changed when people started not seeing me for me, but for what I look like.

We teenagers are forever changing and we sometimes love the change, but at times we don’t. I mean, your squeaky voice can transform over time into an Idris Elba voice-alike right? No, that’s too much? OK, maybe that’s a bit far-fetched, but you’re changing, so be proud!

I am getting bigger in body size, one day I hope to look a bit smaller. My skin colour makes people call me “yellow bone, mlungu”, and at times I get questions like, “unguMy Friend?” Meaning are you a Pakistani or something, because of my extraordinary beauty, and that makes me cringe and not feel content with myself. Not that I have anything against Pakistani people, but what could be so wrong with me that you have to compare me to other people?

Why change? Obviously for health issues and so that I don’t feel uncomfortable when I walk in the streets in a mini skirt because I have ‘flabby’ thighs. So that I don’t feel uncomfortable when standing amongst my petite group of friends, or maybe so that I don’t get called ‘sdudla’. Maybe because I don’t want to feel judged and subjected to whatever you and the media think is healthy, pretty and will be successful.

Who am I kidding? The fact that I already feel the need to change means your words have penetrated my mind and I’m your slave. Rejoice!

Back to the question I asked earlier on, the one that asks you why you feel the need to judge other people based on their appearance. Remember it now? Yes, that one. I think it’s because you are unhappy yourself, you lack some self-love. I think you need help. Yes, you definitely do need it because a sane person wouldn’t go around subjecting other people to pain.


Tell us: What helpful advice do you have for the writer?