It all started during her nine-month pregnant journey, the cravings, mood swings, and all the changes a woman has to go through to bring forth life on this earth.
The day finally arrived, the birth day. A tiny girl was born, her eyes were so bright, her cry was like a sweet melody, her mouth and nose were so small one would wonder how does she breath or going to be fed with such small parts, that is just a wonder but all in all she was a joyful baby. She brought joy in the ward after her birth, and she was named Naledi.
It was noon on the 18th of July 1994 when a baby girl was born. Naledi was a bright baby from birth, her mother was full of anxiety and pain during pregnancy, she never accepted the fact that she was pregnant with her last born child because she had made plans and did sterilisation.
The day she was conceived, it was God’s ways and plans. Because in our western beliefs we tend to believe that when you are sterilised you won’t be able to have babies anymore .But because our bodies and everything else belongs to God nothing shall stop his will from being done.
After she found out that she was pregnant it was unbelievable and sounded unreal, she consulted difference doctors but the results were all the same, she did ultra sounds, sonars and scans but the sad truth was that she was pregnant. It was shocking and traumatising because she believed that she wasn’t able to conceive any longer.
She then decided that she can’t keep the baby because of her financial status but because she was a believer she couldn’t consider abortion. She then thought of drinking homemade remedies, starving herself and hurting herself just to make it go away.
To make it look all innocent but that didn’t work out for her. Because she was conscious, and that’s when she began accepting the fact that she is pregnant and there is nothing she can do. Life was tough for her raising three children and knowing that there would be another one on the way.
There was a lack of support for her during the time because she was in her late thirties, not working and still dependent on her parents. The father of her children was also unemployed unfortunately due to being retrenched from work. Anxiety knocked on her life that time.
She then decided to break the ice and tell her family about the news, she wanted to get all the support she needed by deciding to confide in them. The was no worse day than that day in her life, she was labelled as a stupid women who’s duty is to just give birth to many children.
Her parents were furious at her and also wanted to chase her but because they are her parents and know the journey of pregnancy they tried to accept it and take things one day at a time. They decided to be reasonable and tried by all means to support her children.
Sandra was hated her pregnancy day by day. She was the kind of a person that kept grudges and was full of anger so that made things worse for her in her pregnancy. Her parents tried their level best to support her and give her the best medical treatment one could get.
Her siblings knew that Sandra was the favoured one. They are four siblings. She was the second born of her parents but the first lady in the family. It was two boys, two girls. Favouritism was the problem in the family and it caused conflict amongst the siblings, they did not have a close relationship.
Our older generation parents mostly used the myth rule of saying the last born of the family is usually the most cared for and looked out for. This really broke the family, which was one thing that made Sandra’s relationship with her siblings to be abnormal. So it messed up their relationship for good.
Tell us: Why is it important for families to avoid favouritism?