“You will get rid of that thing, you hear me? You will get rid of it even if I have to do it myself. I have transferred enough money for you to go to the doctor and have it taken care of,”

He prepared to leave but seemed to change his mind. He turned my way again.

“You know I love you right? I am just not ready for a child from you, you understand, don’t you?” When he saw that I just kept crying silently he erupted again. “You understand, don’t you?!”

Instead of a question, it sounded like a statement and one I knew disagreeing with would cause me harm. So I nodded. He sighed and looked like he wanted to say something else, then changed his mind and left.

I am sure you want to know how on earth I ended up in that situation, so I will tell you.

My name is Kateko Chauke, my name means blessing but I don’t really feel blessed at the moment. I am 17 years old and I am in Grade 12 this year.

Two months ago today, Mr Bloyi gave me a lift home and that day, and all the other days after, were like a fairy tale to me, until today of cause.

“What have you been eating at home that could make you look all grown up? Because you look like a woman now, wow!”

I knew that had I been a white person my face would be red. He went on saying all the things a 17-year-old girl would eat up and now that I think of it, it was all just nonsense. Even then I knew he just wanted to get into my pants but I couldn’t help feeling important although at the back of my head I knew it was a bunch of lies.

So a week later he asked me to go to Thavane mall with him on a Saturday. I tried to protest because I knew what he really wanted.

“Listen, I will not force you to do anything you don’t want to do. We will just go and have some fun shopping. I noticed that you wear the same clothes for Saturday school so I thought we could buy you what will make your friends envious. But if you don’t want to then it’s fine,”

I am ashamed to say, but like a stupid teenager, I was hooked.

We went to Thavane mall and we did have fun. He bought me all the labels I showed him and all the others I had never heard of. Soon it was evening and he told me to call home and tell them that I was fine, and that I would be sleeping over at a friends’ house. I protested. I told him I was not sleeping with him, so he told me to walk home.

Because of the distance I couldn’t and we ended up at a hotel where I fought him when he wanted to be inside my pants. I fought him off and I lost.

“If you tell anyone I will deny it and no one will believe you. I mean, we shopped together and I bought you things, what did you think was gonna happen?”

He had totally changed, he was like a beast of some sort. The worst thing was he didn’t even use a condom. In the morning I woke up to find him with food by his side, sitting on the chair. He apologized and begged for forgiveness. I forgave him.

Every weekend after that we went away to Kruger National Park, Polokwane and to Durban. And all those times he treated me with respect and he never forced me again. He gave me money, more money than I have ever held. He bought me the latest phone and he made sure I had a new hair style whenever I wanted. He also tutored me and I kept my grades up.

Everything was great until I fainted during morning assembly and they had to take me to the clinic. He volunteered to take me and that was when I found out I was pregnant. He didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all and he was raging mad. I thanked God where he had packed the car there were no people passing by.

That was when I saw the beast that was my teacher. He cursed and hit me when I said we could just get married. That was when I found out he was married with two kids. When I asked what he wanted with me if he was married he hit me again and told me to shut up and let him think.

“My wife would never forgive me if she found out about this, so we have to take care of that thing in your stomach.”

He called it a thing. I let him say all he wanted; there was no stopping him.

“You will get rid of that thing you hear me? You will get rid of it even if I have to do it myself. I have transferred enough money for you to go to the doctor and have it taken care of.”

I knew of cause that he meant what he said about doing the abortion himself if I refused. I knew that if I wanted to keep the child, even for stupid reasons like not wanting to commit the greatest sin of abortion, I needed help. I also knew that asking for help would probably reveal the secret but I couldn’t make myself even think about abortion, so I walked home.

I told my parents everything and I told them I didn’t want him to lose his job or his family. Even though they were angry, they were going to help me change schools and I would tell him I had it taken care of.

I know you are probably wondering why I would protect the bastard even though he doesn’t deserve it. The truth is I am partly to blame for this. I knew what would happen eventually between us so I should have expected it.

***

Tell us: What would you have done in her situation?