My happy face is hidden behind these tears, the smile is faded and only the grin remains. I cannot see that pretty face that used to get me in the zone. I acted like a boy when you needed a matured man. I hung out with drunkard women and I never took the chance to respect your womanhood. You needed me but I was not available. Again, I acted like a boy and forgot that I was married. I admit I was wrong.

We only know we have missed the spot when we are feeling the pressure. We only know we have lost the moon when even the stars are not available. That is what dragged me on this pain that I cannot even maintain. You saw a good man in me. I could not appreciate that. I thought you did not tame when I was playing the string behind your lens. To be honest, it was not cool when I had been playing the guitar, enjoying my strings. It was hurting me to death yet I kept doing it.

I wanted to spend that time with friends, being influenced to get those drunkard ladies with no dignity. I was not quite enjoying all my glasses that I have been sipping. Every time I looked at my shoes, I would think of you, imagining you holding those pillows alone. I knew you had been crying the whole night alone. I cared but I could not give an arm. It was like I was obsessed.

I was cruel? Yes, I was. I cannot deny that. I was living in a glass house throwing stones. Today I got my karma. It is life with regression. I cannot even talk to the guy in my mirror. He throws stones at me. She tells me of how bad I was to promise the girl joy but give her the opposite. I cannot even sleep in the bedroom. It reminds me how I screwed your mind and got ladies to sleep to your side of our bed.

All of these made you slip off from my hands. I cannot blame you. The blame should be given to my selfishness, my cruelty.