I’ve known what HIV is for all my life; its clicks run deep in my veins. The word HIV comes to mind whenever I see a red colour. I grew up in a community where there were some people who lived with this virus. I grew up saying I don’t want to be infected by HIV because it is very harmful, incurable and there are chances that you might die.
As I grew older, I wanted to become the first person to find or bring a cure for this virus. The whole world is full of people living with it and they are discriminated against, underestimated and even despised.
I was given pills to take every single day and I never understood why. I enjoyed taking the pills cos they were not sour. I grew up and started wanting to know why I was taking pills. I asked my parents why but they refused to tell me, then I realised that I should dig more.
I was seeking help from my friends, neighbours, teachers, even from hospitals. But they all refused as well. I decided to let it go since nobody was willing to help me. From there, I started focusing on my school work because it was one of my top priorities.
On the 1st of July, my family and I were planning my uncle’s birthday that would be held on 25 July2019. While we were on it, I overheard my parents saying they should tell this young man the truth at his uncle’s event. I was excited and ready to hear the truth. As the day came, we were organised and the program began from 11:30 a.m. – 20:00 p.m. Everyone was happy, dancing, telling stories and even jokes.
Before everyone dispersed, my parents and I were on the stage and that’s where they told me the truth that I am HIV positive, which is why they were giving me pills to take each day. Immediately I ran off to my bedroom and locked myself for about twelve hours, crying loudly that even my neighbours noticed.
While I was in my bedroom crying, my brain was singing, dancing, playing and asking myself how I got infected because I thought you only get infected through sexual intercourse. I went to confront my parents, wanting to know how I was infected, but they refused again. So I attempted suicide.
I found no reason to live cos nobody cared. But I didn’t do it because I realised how my life is important to me.
My advice to the young generation is, never let a little thing destroy your life. No matter what, never think negative thoughts but find someone to talk to instead.
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We care very deeply about the safety of all our readers and writers. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to people when you feel this desperate. LifeLine has a free number you can call to speak to someone who can help: try 0861 322 322 or 021 461 1111. You don’t have to go through this struggle alone.