This is so hard for me. I’ve never spoken publicly about how I got raped. What would you do if the person who is supposed to protect you is the very same person you suffered pain from? What would you do if the very same man who should have taught you how to be a better man is the very same one who turned you into this hateful and bitter man? For God’s sake, I was only fourteen years old and all I needed was to be loved and protected, not a victim of rape in the hands of a man I called my uncle.
After I lost my parents, my uncle who was also mourning the death of his only son and wife, took me in to stay with him. Things were great; he was a perfect uncle any fourteen-year-old boy could wish to stay with, but as time went by my uncle turned from being a good person to a heartless rapist.
One night as I was sleeping, I heard my room door open and a deep voice call my name.
“Little Jay, Uncle Johnny wants to teach you something tonight,” he said as he locked my door.
With excitement I jumped from my bed, went straight where uncle Johnny was and I asked him what it was that he wanted to teach me. I even begged him to tell me as I couldn’t wait any longer.
“Relax, I will tell you just take you underwear off because what I am about to tell you wants you to be naked,” he said.
With trust that I had for my uncle I didn’t question his request, I just took off my underwear, within a blank of an eye I saw myself on the same bed I jumped from. How I got there I still don’t know but what I remember is seeing Uncle Johnny naked next to me on my bed.
He started to be aggressive and doing everything with force. He grabbed my wrists and held them on the bed. From there everything hurt. He whispered in my ear and said, “Relax, you’re gonna love it and I know that it’s okay to make a noise. I’d love to hear you moaning for your uncle.”
I remember screaming and begging him to stop. It felt like I had left my body. From that night on, my uncle turned me into his addiction. Every night I had to please him. Everyone has their own story to tell and this is my darkest story. I never told anyone simply because of fear and shame.
He repeated this act every night on me for almost three years and all this time he did all that without protecting me from diseases. All I can say is everyone has their own story but mine is a story I so wished it never took place. If I knew what was gonna happen to me that night I think I could have said no to uncle Johnny’s request. If I could have not allowed him in my room that night maybe I would have not b here telling you my story of pain.
There are so many hash tags from the likes of #NotInMyName to the likes of #Stop abuse against women and children. My biggest question for men is this: when will you be man enough and unite in one spirit against this word “rape”? I guess men of today are cowards. All they’re good at is turning themselves away from being responsible fathers, brothers and uncles to becoming professional rapists.
I suffered from depression and I even tried several times to take my own life. It took me years to even begin to pull myself together. Today I am telling my story because everyone has their own story. Today I am speaking out for all rape survivors who can’t speak out, yet know that time does not erase the legitimacy of sexual assault. I challenge you today to develop courage to speak out. Who knows maybe your untold story is the very same story that could heal this world and put an end to rape.