When I was a first year student at University, blessers would always come to our student residences with their expensive cars, alcohol and fast food, ready to have a good time with female students. This was a common occurrence in the parking lots on weekend evenings. Some blessees would be picked up and taken to clubs, bars or who knows where, and they would only be back in the wee hours of the morning or after the weekend.

I must admit, though, I loathed them for doing this. How could they sell themselves so easily, and for what? Hair extensions? Beer? Fast food? Car rides? It did not make sense to me how these smart women could allow themselves to be prostituted for money and temporary pleasures.

I was once in the company of a group of blessees when I visited a friend in her room on campus. They were discussing their blessers, and some were at their fourth or fifth blesser in two years! I was shocked when I heard this, and I could not believe my ears.

Some of the blessees were showing off the gifts their blessers had bought them. Among the gifts were bags, shoes, money and wigs. I must admit, though, some of the things were nice! But to me, it was just not worth it.

About two years later, I experienced financial difficulties. I struggled with basic necessities such as bus fare and food. Because of this, I borrowed money from friends without a guarantee that I could return it. It got so bad that I would sometimes even eat only one meal in the evening. I lost so much weight because of this, and my clothes got baggy. I was ashamed because it was so evident that I was struggling. It also affected my mental health. I always found myself under stress. It became hard for me to concentrate on my books, and while I was in the company of others, I was always quiet and in my thoughts.

More than anything else, I got to understand why blessees had blessers. If I had someone to give me car rides, then I wouldn’t need worry about bus fare. If I had someone to give me a lot of money, then I wouldn’t need to borrow it from people. If I had someone to buy me fast food, then I wouldn’t be hungry all day.

I never got a blesser, though. I lived through the struggle. Thanks to God, it only lasted for a short while, then I got some help from family. Sometimes in life we go through hard times to understand the behaviour we despise. Therefore, we should ask rather than assume, and we should not judge others who are in shoes we have never stepped in.


Tell us: Do you agree that we shouldn’t judge others without knowing them?