It was early January 2018 and I had just arrived at my new school and there were two girls who were starting school same day. They were Venda and I was Pedi, so they took us into different classes. The following day they brought the girls into my class and one of them sat next to me while the other sat behind me.

I literally couldn’t look at her; she was different from other Venda girls and I liked immediately.

“Hey,” she greeted.

“Hey,” I responded.

“How are you?”

“I am good and yourself?”

“What is your name?”

“I am Kutollo.”

The following day we got to know each other better and we started chatting.

Time went on and I developed feelings for her so I had to wear my heart on my sleeve. She turned down, saying she didn’t have feelings for me, but I could tell that she was scared to admit that she loved me back. As I looked deeply in her eyes, and noted how she spoke to me, it was too early to throw in the towel.

Eventually she accepted my proposal.

Genetically I’m scared of girls but I had no fear of her as we had something in common; we were both new at school and doing Grade 12.

One of our history teachers, Vho-Nematandani, found out about our relationship. He was cool and liked to play with us and sometimes guided us, especially in relationship matters.

The girl did not know much about me but later learned that I am a model. She was not interested in media at all. I became a Diepsloot Kings and Queens Fashion Show 2018 finalist, and on the final day she refused to support me.

I went and competed and took the crown to become Mr Diepsloot King 2018. I was not only a model but also an author and entrepreneur and these things she did not know about me. We fought about that and that’s where my feelings for her started to vanish a little bit. She was too jealous. If she saw a girl hugging me or standing close while talking to other girls, she would fight with me. I couldn’t tolerate that because everywhere I am a people’s person.

She would not let me kiss her or spend much of time with her. We would only spend time at school and that was not enough for me, perhaps for her also, who knows? I dumped her. I went out with other girls but that did not benefit me as I realised that I still loved her.

Leaving her was a mistake. I was blinded by other girls I met every day.

We sat down to fix our problems but I was not ready and I bid her goodbye. She was quiet and looked sad that day. I went and kissed her then left.

“I will always be available for you,” she said.

We still loved each other but I was not ready for a serious relationship in high school.


Tell us: Do you think of serious relationships in high school?