It still feels unreal, like I am in an endless nightmare. I have always imagined how it would make me feel if I was told that you are no more, little did I know that I was ultimately foreseeing the future. The memories we had and your smile on pictures are still displaying in my mind repeatedly, especially when I am alone thinking about you.
I remember the day you left this world, in that moment, holding your hand and checking on you every second, without help. Patients lying on the floor in the hospital reception. I knew by then, that it will take decades for us to find help for you because of numerous emergencies, but like you taught me, my hope was placed in Jesus Christ, because I was raised by a powerful worshiper and a believer and I also told myself that if God wants to do something it will be according to His will because He is God.
A few minutes later I saw you struggle to breathe, you could no longer breath through your nose but with your mouth.
“Help! Help! Help!” I screamed.
There you took your heavy last three breaths and you stopped. I felt the world spinning fast. I felt extremely dizzy, I was stammering and speaking in the muttered voice calling your name.
I couldn’t believe that indeed this was really happening. I was a mess and kept asking myself so many questions.
“Why did you leave me, when you know that me and you we are so close?” I said, as I cried.
I felt so many things. I felt lost, abandoned, crazy and in a daze. But within a few hours my mind came back.
With words of comfort from my family, it was priceless but I kept thinking about how you struggled through numerous great pains that were only known and felt by you and how it was eating me day and night having to see you like that.
Now you have rested at ease my queen, no more crying, no more painkillers and most importantly, no more hospital ques. You are in a much better place, healed and most importantly you are looking over us. Till we meet again, angel Gogzi.
Tell us: Have you ever lost someone close to you?