We’ve all lost or know of someone who has lost a person due to Covid-19. There is no right or wrong way to grieve but there are healthy and toxic ways of coping with grief. The death of someone is hard but it can be extremely harder and emotionally taxing when you have to go through these difficult times alone. How do we deal though?

It’s okay to not be okay – allow yourself time to cry and go through the emotions. Some people even laugh when they receive bad news as it’s the minds way of processing painful information. Its okay to feel numb, to feel angry.

Deal! – Disconnect from social media and things that are distracting you from actually dealing with your grief. Don’t prolong the process. Face it, accept/acknowledge your feelings. Give yourself the permission to keep going.

It’s a process – it will not feel okay overnight, your mind needs time to come to realisation and your soul needs healing.

Pause – Take some time out. Take a break. Life does not have to go on as normal. You can go back to dealing with what you need too. Breaks are important.

Reset – Even though you are isolated you are not alone- many others are going through this, that fact alone does not make it okay but bearable. You are not alone.

Music soothes the soul – it is said that music has many healing properties and washes the dust of everyday life. It can also influence many emotions – so listen to music that is going to uplift your spirit and help you transcend any negative vibes.

Your feelings require validation- nobody really knows how it feels because feelings and emotions are subjective. Nobody knows what it feels like to feel what you are going through. You feel them and they matter.

Take care of your mental health – it’s much more susceptible during this period to battle periods of depression and anxiety (check out my article on dealing with stress and anxiety on tips about how to handle this). Most importantly it’s a phase and will pass.

From my personal experience I’ve had to deal with three deaths in a space of one week. I could not mourn with any of my family members because they are in another province. I’ve had to watch their funerals through live streaming’s on Facebook alone. It didn’t feel like a goodbye and there was no closure.

What helps for me is casting my cares to God because I know he cares for me and there are things in my life that my shoulders are not meant to carry. I do think of my loved ones but I feel that the best way to honour their memory is to live my life according to the lessons that they have passed down to me. I celebrate their life by living mine through their lessons.

Sending love and comfort to everyone who has lost someone. You are not going through this alone and together we shall overcome every challenge we are faced with. All you have to do is believe that you have the power to do so inside yourself. Death is tough but not as tough as learning to live without someone and is possibly one of the hardest things we will ever have to face. Death is a part of life and we all have to die at some stage. Life is a gift and should be lived to the fullest.

Ubomi abumanga – Life really does go on. Because someone’s journey has ended, does not mean that yours has to too. Take your time to grieve and heal but fall in love with life and living again. It’s a blessing to see a new day and we should all live our life to the fullest. Be present, be here and now. Deal with it one day at a time and if that is too hard – then one hour at a time. It’s not a race. Take your time and do what you need to. But once you are done, wake up and start again.

Tell us: What has this article taught you about grief and trauma?