Welcome to my village secondary school, where I am also a student. It would displease you to hear that my school is the poorest in terms of academic standards, most especially in the English language aspect.

Our principal is a very ambitious man who finds it really appalling and exasperating that his students cannot speak English correctly. He tried to find a lasting solution by bringing in a new English language teacher from the Moon.

It was from the introduction that we knew things would be very unpalatable and undoubtedly very catastrophic with the new teacher.

The teacher started his address to us “the appellative cognomen, that clearly and succinctly elucidates my un-plagiarized singleton of my superficial prototypic persona, is Mr. Ade, The Grammarian.” He continues, “Welcome to my super calm world of sesquipedalian English, which has essentially and successfully taken me to no underestimated place, which is extremely unthinkable with you, medulla oblongata.”

Three students fainted…

Tell us: Do you get why students fainted?