My father died and my life became a nightmare. It felt as if someone had taken gold away from me. My smile died with him.
I didn’t take the news of his passing very well, even after knowing that he was no more, I still told myself that he was alive. As a result of that I didn’t even go to his funeral and I only realised after the funeral that he was truly no more. That just killed me emotionally and physically. I even started self harming. The blade smoothly moved on my skin and the blood quickly gushed out of my now scared skin.
I isolated myself from my family more and more as the days went by. I lost weight and this was really bothering my mom and her previous attempts to take me to a therapist had failed. She didn’t know what to do for me anymore. She just helplessly watched her daughter die emotionally.
One day she gave me a little blue bible and said that only God could help me now. That time God didn’t exist because if He did I wouldn’t have suffered the way I was. Days went by and I didn’t even look at that little bible. I don’t know why, but one night when I couldn’t sleep I found myself reading it and saying one of the biggest prayers in my life. After that night the bible became my comforter and best friend. It was like a magnet bringing me closer to God.
In God I found my hope and life and the book of Psalms became my favourite. My favourite chapter was Psalms 31. Then there was Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This scripture beautifully made me realise that God’s plans for me are beyond any suffering or loss. Suffering and losing people are all part of life and we have to go through them.
I used to wonder every day as to why I was going through so much pain and disappointments in my life. Reading Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
My life is beautiful because of the challenges I face as they are the ones who give me hope because I know that at the end of every storm there’ll always be a rainbow. My little blue Bible became my saviour and I always take it with me wherever I go.