I was now in secondary school. My family wasn’t rich but my parents provided everything we needed for our success. My mom wasn’t employed as she couldn’t proceed with her secondary studies due to fees, and my dad wasn’t working either. He was a successful farmer and prospered in his milk business. They always encouraged us to work hard at school.

Being a first born, it was all in my hands to lead my siblings by example and succeed through education. I was always working hard in class, reading and solving problems became my everyday life. I wanted to become a medical doctor. The villagers called me ‘crazy’ because no girl in our village had been successful through education. I always came on top of my class.
Then I met Rose. She was a crazy tall girl with curled hair and thick eye-balls that made look smart. She was a year older than me but was my sweet friend. Rose was really good in class too. Her dad received a transfer letter to another district as he was a doctor, and her mom a teacher.

“I will miss you my dear friend. I will miss the days you slept at my house during weekends. Please let’s keep in touch,” I said when she left, pushing back tears. We would write letters to each other.

After Rose left, Hendrina, Prisca and Anita came in my life. They were my school’s coolest and hottest girls. Being part of the group was quite cool, fame and attention was the order of the day.

I performed well in my school work but my friends couldn’t solve the simplest Math problems. All they knew was fashion and having fun.
Each weekend we went to the club house to dance and get drunk. My school work suffered. For the first time I was in position three and that scared me. I stopped going to the club and my friends were upset but I had no choice. I recovered and was back on top once more. I had now made up my mind to focus on school only.

I took part in sport and played netball, and I was the best! Our school came top in both netball and football. All my friends had boyfriends except me until a famous footballer called Yakho proposed to me. He was really handsome, most girls fell for his charms, his lovely voice, six pack, and his lovely structure.

“I love you,” he said and I got nervous.

My friends said, “Say you love him too, he’s really handsome.” But my parents always warned me against dating while still at school, I felt sweat streaming down my face.

I had to decide but I had to say no to Yakho.

“How could you say no to Yakho? You’re dumb. This is where it ends for us, you’re out of group! No more visits and hanging together, you’re stuck up!” said one of the girls, buzzing me off with her right hand.

Yakho wrote a love letter but I just threw it away. I was lonely at school with no one to talk to. The three girls entered the class and I rushed to say hi but no one answered me.

“What do you want me to do, so we can be friends again?” I asked.

“Yakho, make him your boyfriend!” they said. Now I was forced to have a boyfriend, I didn’t have a choice but to say yes as I wanted to keep the friendship.

It was hard for me to get used to being all touchy with Yakho. I was feeling shy but it made my friends smile so I had to do it. Yakho and I we were now taking the relationship seriously. I started missing classes and I was falling for him so badly. I was ready to do anything to make him smile.

I could see love in his eyes every time he looked at me. My mathematics teacher told my parents about my relationship with Yakho. That day dad hit me so much and my mom was angry at me. The more they fought it the stronger my relationship became. I would sneak out midnight to sleep at his house.

My life changed. Every Saturday my friends and I, with our boyfriends, would rush to our spot called Love Circle. It was a secret place, where we would chat until the sun went down.

Even though I had a boyfriend, I was doing well in class so it wasn’t a problem. My mom advised me to break up with Yakho, I agreed with her, just to end the story, deep in me I would still feel his presence.

We continued with our love every minute with him felt good. I was back in the rage, living my life, parting with friends. Until one Monday morning when I fainted during mathematics class. All I remembered was waking up at the hospital.

“You’re four months pregnant mam,” said my doctor fixating his eyes on the purple folder he carried. I was shivering with fear. What would my parents say, and what about my dreams? A flood of hot tears fell down my cheeks.

I rushed like I was crazy to break the news to Yakho.

“And what makes you think the baby is mine? Stop playing!” he said leaving me standing there like a pole. I was really furious.

“After all the love I showed you and now you’re saying this baby is not yours?” I gave him two hard slaps.

My pregnancy news spread every corner of the village, even the glass and water knew it. My parents kicked me out of their house. I had tried begging for forgiveness but my parents’ hearts stayed hardened. Yakho’s mom had chased me out of the house saying I was a liar.

I was now all alone with nothing to eat and no one to talk to. All my friends turned to enemies. They were continuing with their studies while I was facing the dark side of the world.

I started doing laundry for people so I could survive and I was even selling fire wood on the other side. I eventually gave birth to a baby girl. Tears would fall as I looked at her, she made me remember all the mistakes I had made.

I had no choice but to raise her and I promised myself to raise my daughter well so that she must not repeat the same mistakes I made.

I destroyed my future by trusting the wrong people and letting down my parents. I switched from being my young siblings’ role model to someone they wished they never became. I went to sleep on an empty stomach.

My life is still hard. I have no job, no family love, and no friends. In our one-roomed house, flashbacks still come to my mind when I try to smile.

Not all friends we have can offer good advice and can lead us into good behavior. You have to stand up for your dream and focus towards success. Not even a single parent can wish bad for their children, they always have our best interests at heart. They want us to be independent. Never disregard your parents’ teaching and allow your friends to control you. Make your parents proud and you will never live a life you’ll regret like I do now.


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