My parents rented a garage here in Dlamini Extension Two. The landlords are alcoholics and their nephew is a drug addict. In front there are two houses that sell drugs.
Ever since I started living there, their nephew has been telling me that he wants to feel my Mozambican body. At first I thought that he was high on drugs, so I didn’t actually take note of what he was saying and I didn’t tell my parents.
Whenever Mpumi and I go somewhere, the landlady will insult us and say, “Go ahead, hoe around and know all sizes of penis!” I get angry and always wish to get back at her, but she always finds a way to embarrass me in front of everyone.
Actually, I think she is abusing me emotionally. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because of her. Have you ever had that feeling that makes you feel useless? Those are the feelings she leaves me with!
The community believes whatever the landlady says and they laugh at whatever she does – what a useless community! I mean for goodness sake, how can a shy girl, who is always at home or at school be a jezabel? Yeah, she tells everyone that I am a prostitute.
Can you imagine how humiliated I was when she told my parents and everyone who was around that I know all sizes of penis? I mean I didn’t even know that they have sizes! At that moment my only wish was that earth could open and swallow me up…
I could feel my father’s disappointment from afar, I could see that he wanted to believe her, but it was hard for him. That no good granny insulted me to the point where I even thought of suicide! I didn’t want to see another day. I didn’t want to hear people laughing at me and saying, “There goes the jezebel, who taught Mpumi how to open her legs for men.”
So, everyday I have to face that insulting Gogo and her nephew who is a drug addict, a pervert, and a thief! Her nephew Valentine (but we call him Vali) stole everything from everyone, but he never got arrested.
Everyone knew it was him, but instead of taking action, they all laughed and gossiped about it. Whenever my parents are not around, he always wants to force himself into the house. He tells me that he loves me and that I must love him back. He also tells me that because he loves me, he’ll rape me one day.
He sometimes walks around naked when it’s just the two of us and says, “Babe, don’t be scared to look at what belongs to you”. Eww how can I not be scared? I thought of telling my parents, but I had second thoughts. After what the landlady had told them, I was not sure whom they would believe. So, I had to come up with a way to survive. I act strong, don’t show that I am scared, and play along to keep him away from me.
One night he crept behind my back, but with God’s grace I heard his footsteps before he could do anything. I screamed for help, but no one came to my rescue. I continued to scream to try and scare him off, but still no one came.
Now, here I am being emotionally abused everyday while my parents are aware of it, but I’m surviving. Now imagine how I feel everyday being scared with no happiness… And this is only half of what I face everyday!