My heart aches as I’m writing you this letter, but I think it’s time I moved on from the past and pour my heart out to you. I have questions for you, but I don’t know where to start. Mom, why do you hate me so much?
It’s been so long since I left home. I left because I couldn’t stand the way you treated me anymore. I’ve always been a good daughter to you; I listened to you, always cleaned and cooked for you but it was never enough. You’ve always been cold-hearted towards me, in a way I was like a stranger to you. You never believed in me. Why mother? I sometimes wondered if you were my real mother due to your ill treatment towards me.
I was a good daughter to you, but you always had harsh and hurtful words for me whenever you had a bad day. I always cried myself to sleep; you were mean and always compared me with my late father. What kind of a wife were you to speak ill about your late husband? Is it because I resemble him so much? Or is it because I was raped when I was young? You never supported me through the rape incident, but you blamed me and said that I wanted it. How do you ask to be raped? What kind of a mother are you?
Your words were always like swords that pierced my heart and broke it into a trillion pieces, but I always kept calm. You broke me; I had no confidence and low self-esteem. I resented myself and yet, I remained strong hoping that one day you’d realise your mistakes, but you never did.
I’ve found the strength to let go and heal, though it took me a long time to do so. I’ve forgiven you and my rapist. I’m a grown woman now with a loving husband who loves me dearly although you swore I’d die alone because of my evil heart. I’m also expecting my first born in three months’ time, but I’m scared that I won’t love him the way I’m supposed to. How do you love a child when you’ve never known love as a child?
What if I turn into a loveless monster to my child like you did? What if I resent my child like you did? Mother, tell me, so that I don’t make the same mistakes like you did with me. Why did you treat me like that? What did I do to you? Why didn’t you support me when I needed you the most?
I hope you’ll be able to answer me before I give birth.
Tell us what you think: What do you think is the cause for parents to act like this towards their kids?