It’s hard for me to say this, but we have to part ways. It’s been a long and eventful journey, seven years to be exact. I’ve cried so many times and tried to convince myself it would soon get better, but it never did. I honestly think it never will get better. I have been emptying myself all this time, pouring pieces of my soul into your delicate hands or what used to be your delicate hands. They have become so rough and thorny and I can’t take it anymore.

It feels like I have been chasing after you this whole damn time. It was love at first, but somehow I lost you along the way. You used to care, I was your everything. You’d drop everything for me, but now all you do is drop me for everything.

I’ve fallen so many times, tried to gather myself and I did. Every time you drop me it feels like a knife is slicing through my veins. I’ve bled way too many times. I don’t think I can afford to bleed any more. I am surrounded by a flowing river of my tears and blood, and I can see pieces of my soul floating in the dark crimson river. They are gradually moving away from me and I’m too hurt to move along and try to pick them up. I most probably am never going to recover them. It’s all too much.

You’ve always managed to talk your way back into my heart with your sweet words, but you shall do that no more. I’ve become deaf from all the loud screams that I have screamed every time it hurt. There comes a point where it all gets too heavy on my small ears. I used to hear sweet melodies whenever you were around me, but that I do no more. You’ve become like a clanging cymbal. Your sweet melodies turned into a harsh horrible sound.

I used to see you in my dreams. I saw green fields, lilies and ever flowing rivers of honey and milk. Though I still dream of you, my dreams have become nightmares. All I see is this horrible, greedy, selfish and inconsiderate monster that’s trying to swallow me whole.

I could continue writing down this letter, but my fingers hurt from all the times I’ve scratched myself trying to get you off my skin. I hope you got my message loud and clear.

I don’t know what you’ll regard me as after reading this letter, but I don’t care.

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