I slowly went out of the NICU unit as the nurses were preparing my baby for the mortuary. I was feeling numb, my legs were failing me.
I wanted to hear the footsteps of the nurse following me and telling me all would be well, but the wish never existed.
I walked slowly down the hospital passages and I walked down the stairs and then I found a quiet place with many chairs.
I sat down and cried.
I didn’t know where to start breaking the sad news to the family. I didn’t know which person to call first. I didn’t want to break their hearts with the news. I cried and cried until there were no more tears coming out.
I dried my face and cleared my throat then I called my big sis. I broke the news to her. I tried as much as I could not cry and to sound strong during the conversation.
I then went to the nurses in my ward and I stood there disappointed. After a minute I began to speak with a breaking, shaky voice, “Nurse, can I please get the pills that dries the breast?”
The nurse with a confused face asked why I’d want such pills and again I broke the sad news to the nurse.
I went to my ward where other mothers were. I couldn’t break the sad news to them because I didn’t want to break their hearts.
I packed my belongings and when they went to check their babies, breastfeeding and changing nappies, I left the ward and left the hospital.
That was the saddest news I ever broke.
Tell us: What helpful advice do you have for a mother who lost her baby?