Deon is in his early stages of being a teenager. He constantly struggles with his appearance and will do just about anything to be perfect. In a world of social media and class, he just has to be perfect, you don’t understand.

On stage is Deon in his white gown. He is sitting in front of a big mirror holding a lotion, and next to him is a bottle of water. He has his head wrapped in a white towel.

The scene begins with dimly lit lights, and there are dull spotlights shining on Deon while the sound of birds chirping indicates that it’s early in the morning.

Deon enters the stage from bathing. He hangs his towel, goes to sit on the chair in front of the mirror, and starts looking at himself.

Deon: Wow, the perfect sound of birds singing so early in the morning.

(Giggles)

I read that it relaxes your mind somehow, and, you know, when the mind is relaxed, you get less stress more youthful looks. That book has tons of interesting stuff that everyone should know… well, if you’re alive like me, you should make an effort to know them. Like in one chapter, they speak about how we should pronounce English words, like there is ‘thereee’.

(Pauses for a little while)

Yoh, I notice I’m getting fat these days. My cheeks are starting to fatten up and I’m growing a double chin. No, this cannot be happening. Argh, fuck this lockdown.

(Notices one of the audience members looking at him funny.)

Huh huh sisi, don’t look at me like that… Vele I’m fat, anyone can see that. I have to act fast, I can’t let my reputation go down the drain. Maybe you will understand one day, darling… being in the limelight, rubbing shoulders with abo Bonang. Besides, I have to take care of myself, it’s the right thing to do. No one will love me looking like this, especially in our gay world. I have to look like marble to be actually noticed. I have to be perfect to be that famous gay guy.

Being gay is like being a mini celebrity; you always have to shine. Last week I did a facial to remove all my pimples and rash. I waxed all of my hair, yes, including the ones on my legs. I can’t wear bum shorts and still look stunning with those hairs.

‘They are not that visible’, says my friend Thabi. Yoh, I wouldn’t be surprised, though. She’s got 12000 followers on Instagram, and I do not expect her to be visually impaired.

You see the problem is that I don’t wanna be like everybody else. I want to be adored every time I step out of the house; I want people to love me beyond my gayness. I must at least try to be a perfect person, like every homophobe out there that judges me. I want to show them that I’m better at some things, better than they are. My body has to be fit and curved. My skin has to be white, and I should always do my pedi and mani to outline my beauty. I can’t wear the same outfit twice. I’m just not like you… you love your imperfect self but I don’t. I sit in front of the mirror and try to look for a person behind that gay guy. I must be someone at least; society has to view me differently.

Hahaha, you’re gonna role your eyes at me coz you don’t know what it’s like to enter a restaurant and have people look at you and admire your beauty. I’m flawless baby! I’m for the money and the good life, darling.

Please stop looking at me funny. How did you even get in my bedroom…what are you doing here? Yazi, I don’t like shouting because they say it makes you grow old faster.

You all here are perfect, you are what society wants. I spent years in a dark room trying to love myself, trying to say I’m worth it. I’ve been trying to accept my sexuality, and when I finally do, you rock up here and try and tell me how to live my life. Voetesk! You know nothing about being bullied for your looks, for your sexuality. Do you know what it’s like to have 25 people react on your photos on Instagram while others get 350k reactions? Yea, you don’t know, and I don’t expect you to understand. I simply can’t… Now, leave my room, I have a lot to deal with.

My boyfriend has been recently eyeing someone else, but as soon as he sees this skin tone, he will have me for breakfast, dinner and lunch. Bye, darlings.

He picks up his toiletry bag to exit the stage, and the lights fade to black.

Song [Perfect by Ed Sheeran]

Tell us: Do you think ‘perfect’ exists?