They say it’s rare to find single people nowadays. You meet someone and there’s always baggage that comes along. I think the worst is probably falling in love with someone who’s in a relationship already. Agreeing to be the other woman and being okay with being kept a secret. Obliging to rules and regulations set to suit his lifestyle. Making him your all when you’re just something in his life. Understanding no matter how much you try, you will never come first.

Nothing hurts more than being treated like a priority today and an option tomorrow. Having to understand every time your calls are being ignored because you said you understood. Putting yourself aside for the availability of this man because you don’t know when you’ll have him to yourself again. Sitting alone at night wondering if you ever cross his mind. Having urges to call but knowing you will be “crossing the line”

The guilt of betraying another woman by holding on to their partner is enough to make you stay awake at night. Knowing there’s a relationship out there that is shaken by the existence of you. Then you think of yourself, think about your happiness. If it’s so wrong, why does it feel good? Why does this man’s existence in your life make you so happy? Seeing him happy when his with you also takes its toll because you sit and wonder, is it real or are you just the thing on the side that fixes the mood when things go sideways at home.

The urge of wanting the world to know who makes you happy but can’t. Wanting to wake up in the middle of the night and feel his arms around you. Wondering if the smallest intimacy is more than he gets at home. The feeling of trying so hard to show him you have it all and then you stop yourself because you don’t know who you’re up against. That hope and little prayer everyday of hearing “I’m leaving her”, but that voice deep down reminding you it’s not going to happen. Knowing one day they’ll look back and you will be just an obstacle they overcame.

Seeing him hurt, fixing his crown and shining his ego. Give him everything he lacks at home just for him to go and celebrate it with the people that matter most. The wish of exchanging those expensive gifts and money for more time together, but you said you would “understand and know your place.”

Knowing you can never plan a future with this person because they have a life that takes priority. Knowing that as much as he says he loves and care for you his other life will probably always take first place. Rejecting good people for the hopes that one day you will have him to yourself. Even if he could never be yours alone, what guarantee will you have that karma won’t catchup with you and you end up losing him the same way you got him. The struggle of being the other woman.


Tell us: What are your views on notion of being the ‘the other woman’?