Being the other woman

They say it’s rare to find single people nowadays. You meet someone and there’s always baggage that comes along. I think the worst is probably falling in love with someone who’s in a relationship already. Agreeing to be the other woman and being okay with being kept a secret. Obliging to rules and regulations set to suit his lifestyle. Making him your all when you’re just something in his life. Understanding no matter how much you try, you will never come first.

Nothing hurts more than being treated like a priority today and an option tomorrow. Having to understand every time your calls are being ignored because you said you understood. Putting yourself aside for the availability of this man because you don’t know when you’ll have him to yourself again. Sitting alone at night wondering if you ever cross his mind. Having urges to call but knowing you will be “crossing the line”

The guilt of betraying another woman by holding on to their partner is enough to make you stay awake at night. Knowing there’s a relationship out there that is shaken by the existence of you. Then you think of yourself, think about your happiness. If it’s so wrong, why does it feel good? Why does this man’s existence in your life make you so happy? Seeing him happy when his with you also takes its toll because you sit and wonder, is it real or are you just the thing on the side that fixes the mood when things go sideways at home.

The urge of wanting the world to know who makes you happy but can’t. Wanting to wake up in the middle of the night and feel his arms around you. Wondering if the smallest intimacy is more than he gets at home. The feeling of trying so hard to show him you have it all and then you stop yourself because you don’t know who you’re up against. That hope and little prayer everyday of hearing “I’m leaving her”, but that voice deep down reminding you it’s not going to happen. Knowing one day they’ll look back and you will be just an obstacle they overcame.

Seeing him hurt, fixing his crown and shining his ego. Give him everything he lacks at home just for him to go and celebrate it with the people that matter most. The wish of exchanging those expensive gifts and money for more time together, but you said you would “understand and know your place.”

Knowing you can never plan a future with this person because they have a life that takes priority. Knowing that as much as he says he loves and care for you his other life will probably always take first place. Rejecting good people for the hopes that one day you will have him to yourself. Even if he could never be yours alone, what guarantee will you have that karma won’t catchup with you and you end up losing him the same way you got him. The struggle of being the other woman.

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Tell us: What are your views on notion of being the ‘the other woman’?

9 Responses

One thing about me is that I hate cheating with everything in me. Every time a person cheats on me, I leave them and my friends would say "so you are gonna leave everyone who cheats on you" of course I'm gonna do it. Cheating is not just about your partner sleeping with another person, making you a laughing stock. It is deep for me, the sicknesses you might bring to me, mentally you get drained, emotionally you get damaged, physically even spiritually. And again even if you came first in the relationship, you are still in the same boat at the one who came last, you are also another woman because you are both being played by ungrateful partner.

Thato Lesofe · 10 months ago

As long is gf n bf there's nothing wrong there,,,but doing it with married man that's a no go please

Nthabishy · 2 years ago

Love urself enough to be second best.

Cle…@79 · 3 years ago

I wouldnt dare want to be"the other woman",especially giving my concern in the whole situation.I mean like I'd rather be "other woman "without knowing it,not while i know.

Khidos · 3 years ago

I can't stand the thought of being "the other woman". And knowing that I'm the reason someone is crying to God, well that would kill me more than anything. If he's unhappy he must sort himself out.

Mojay · 4 years ago

I seriously hate a woman who chooses to ignore the fact that another woman will be torn if it comes out, and you find that she is already crumbling coz women always get the feeling when there is another women... they should be ashamed because we end up asking ourselves why we were not enough... all because of side chics... once he says i have a girlfriend or a wife, why get into the relationship that will only hurt another woman?? 😏not that im only putting the blame on women because men are to blame as much as the side chic

ThingoEsparanzo · 4 years ago

It is very painfull to share another woman's man because seriously you dont know where you standing

Lebzacool · 4 years ago

What a lovely piece of writing!! I love it.! As I read, I felt the other woman's pain. Every time we think of this, we blame it on the other woman. "she's a home breaker, a husband snatcher" and all sort of bad things we say about them, we don't actually consider how these women feel. Hell no, I'm not trying to support them in any way, cos, it pains to share someone, but all I'm trying to say is that as we curse them, we should remember that they have feelings too. (Things are done for some reasons). You as the main woman, ask yourself :why does my man cheat on me with her? I think then you'll think twice before acting.

Mabella · 4 years ago

It's never a good idea to be the other woman or man in a person's life... Nobody really likes sharing somebody else with another... Unless you yourself are in a relationship but still... It's slot of admin and stress.

B. Croft95 · 4 years ago