I dated a guy named Mpho for almost 3 years, we had both just finished matric at the time. I managed to get into varsity and he didn’t, even though he passed very well. His parents didn’t have enough money and he didn’t manage to get a bursary. He loved me so much, I’m certainly sure that I was the only one to him.
At times he would steal the last money his parents had, just to spoil me. We would lay in bed and cuddle. Then he would say these words to me, “Babe, one day I’ll be rich then I will marry you.” He always said that.
I had to leave him to go to varsity. The vows and the promises we made to each other were left behind. He told me that he’d always be faithful and try really hard to get a job so that he could visit me every now and then. I also promised to be faithful, to always love him. After I left, Mpho was busy hustling to get a job so that he could do what he promised.
In my second week on campus I met this handsome guy, Neba Mmitsa Oskido, who asked me to visit him later that day. But I refused. That day when I arrived in my room I found 3 missed calls from Mpho so I called him back.
“Hey babe, ke fetsa go tsena in my room, what did you want to say?”
“Firstly, I miss you motho waka. I just wanted to tell you that keya go rata. I’m busy sending my CVs to places of possible employment.”
“Ahh baby, I love you too. Any luck with that?”
“Well, not yet baby, but let’s hope for the best. I’ll come see you next week. I’ll hustle for cash and I promise I will be there.”
“OK baby, goodnight.”
The next day I bumped into Oskido again. He kept asking me to join him later at his place. He drove a VW Polo which made him one of the coolest guys on campus. Finally I gave in and agreed. I went to my room to freshen up before I met up him. I heard a car hooting outside my dorm room, it was him. I got in and we drove to his apartment.
His apartment was big and beautiful. He offered me a drink then we sat in the lounge, it was so beautiful. We started chatting. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no. I didn’t ask him if he was seeing anyone. He then ordered us take-away which arrived ten minutes later. After we ate, he started kissing me and I kissed him back. When it looked like everything was about to go out of control, I asked him to take me back to the dorm.
We drove in silence the entire way. I got out of his car and walked to my room without saying goodbye or looking back. I had left my phone in my room and saw that I had five missed calls from Mpho. He left me a message. He wanted to tell me that he got an internship and was coming to see me in 3 days. I didn’t call him back because I felt guilty. I called Oskido instead and thanked him for the great evening. The next day, Oskido sent me flowers and perfume. I felt so special. But Oskido didn’t want to chill with me at campus and that bothered me. He didn’t want to show me off as his girlfriend.
Two days later Mpho arrived. He came to campus and found me sitting with Oskido and his friends. He called out to me but I refused to go to him and told the guys that I didn’t know who that ugly looking guy was and that he was probably crazy. Mpho looked so crushed when I refused to acknowledge him. He turned around and left. Later that day I called him.
“All I wanted was to see you. I didn’t expect that the love of my life would hurt and disappoint me so much. How could you do that to me?” He was hurt. “All I wanted was to share my news with you,” he finished off.
“I’m so sorry, I…” I trailed off.
“I got a job at one of the biggest companies on the continent,” he said and hung up.
I didn’t bother calling him back.
Whenever he called after that I ignored his calls. I started sleeping with Oskido a couple of days later. Then one day, we did it without protection. We continued our sexual relationship for a couple of months until I started feeling nauseous all of a sudden. I would sleep the entire day and miss lectures and tests. When one of my classmates saw me at the park one day, I told her how I was feeling. She advised me to go see a doctor. I didn’t have any money and when I asked Oskido he hung up on me. I blamed the network.
Eventually I ended up going to a public hospital where the doctor told me that I was three months pregnant. The shock of it all, I couldn’t believe it. I left the clinic and rushed to Oskido’s apartment. I was surprised when a girl opened the door.
“Who are you?” the girl asked.
“Is Oskido at home?” I asked ignoring her question.
“Babe, some ugly chick is asking for you,” she said putting a lot of emphasis on the word ‘ugly’.
“Babe, tell whoever it is I’m busy,” Oskido replied from inside the apartment.
Before I could say anything else, the girl closed the door in my face. I stood there crying for a while then I dragged myself back to my room. I decided to call Mpho, but he didn’t pick up.
By the end of that year I was eight months pregnant. I had failed all my modules, had dropped out of varsity and went back home. Back home I was surprised to see that Mpho had built his parents a double storey mansion. He had found love again and was engaged to be married. To top that all, he was the co-owner of the biggest company in the country. I was sad but mostly glad to see that he had found someone who loved him for who he was.
A couple of weeks after I had arrived at home, my mother had a heart attack and died. Here I was left with two girls (twins) to raise on my own with no qualifications or a job. I wished I had appreciated the partner I had and that I’d have loved myself.
Tell us what you think: What could you have done differently?