I chose to give love a chance because I didn’t want to punish myself because of my past. The past relationship did not work out and yet there was a child in it. I had to choose between my new relationship and my son, who was now growing up so well without me next to him full time. My son lived in another province and I couldn’t fight for custody since I did not work anymore. I had neither a stable income nor shelter.
There were more work opportunities where my son lived than where my boyfriend and I stayed. He could visit me every weekend. The kind of work one could get there paid too little to cover monthly needs. Travelling to see my son was costly and the fare increased regularly and there were accommodation costs too. How do I choose between my son and my boyfriend? I couldn’t! I loved them both.
What if I will never find love like what this guy gives to me? Because it is so much better than what I had before. He cannot relocate to where my child is because he’s just been promoted to be an assistant manager. I can’t live here with him anymore because I need to be a full time mother to my only son. I can’t give him a baby at this moment because we still have financial problems, I don’t work and he’s not earning much. Plus we don’t have a proper place to stay that can accommodate two children.
I’m hurting as I can’t find a solution. I’m still hustling for work to at least provide for my son’s school needs for next year. What do I do? It hurts me every day. I only live by the words, “God shall provide and will answer my prayers.”
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