From our youth till the day we’re grey, we’re all chasing the same dragon and her name is ‘happiness’. We all want her, need her but few ever get her. Each with their own way of attaining this elusive beast, most of us will never know true happiness. But my, oh my, do we have fun trying. Sit back, get comfortable and grab a smoke while I tell you the story of one such individual.
When I met her she went by Amanda. A free spirit, she was beautiful and she knew it but she never relied on her looks, no! She was meant to be more than a pretty face. Her style was like nothing I’ve seen before. Her demeanour was cold but her eyes were warm and inviting. She had long, dark curly hair that would cover her face when she looked down to read. She always had her face buried in books. It was one of her escapes.
You see those big brown eyes hide a terrible secret, whispers of a childhood best forgotten. With an absent father and a mother who found comfort in a bottle. She saw all this and knew she was destined for more. That doesn’t mean she never searched for love, but unfortunately she always found comfort in the wrong arms. Quickly she learned she doesn’t need a man, because all too often relationships became a one sided affairs and that, that my friends is not love.
Often times she’d give in to lust, the sex made her feel free. She was able to explore a different side of herself, she had no inhibitions, only freedom. And in that moment, she was both that artist and the art and she loved it. See, Amanda always wanted to express herself and just be, but she was too shy. A creative without a voice, a sadder story you can’t tell.
She would paint, record music, write plays and then lock them all up for fear of the world not accepting her. She was great and we weren’t ready. So she hid and we never got to see the world from the eyes of someone who tasted freedom.
See, even though there’s carefree expression in sex, there’s a catch. Every time she gave her body away, she gave a piece of her soul away too… She knew this, we all do. But like most of us she ignored it and blamed it on the innocence of youth. Who could blame her? After all, aren’t we all sinners?
When I came into her life she opened my eyes to what it means to be alive. I still remember how we met. I saw her passing by the coffee shop. She was reading Lord of the flies, I was instantly smitten. I walked over and before I could even say a word all I heard was, “Come correct, before you approach me.”
I froze, but I was determined. So I straightened myself up and tried again, to my surprise she spoke to me.
Time went by and I didn’t know what we were or how to even explain it. But we were “vibing” and I liked it. She took me to late night shows and museums. I wasn’t used to that, but I grew to like it and I grew attached. But I didn’t know that she wasn’t in my life to stay. I was used to helping her forget. I thought I wouldn’t mind it, until she actually left. I didn’t get it then, but she’s a free spirit and you can’t cage a free spirit. I haven’t heard from her in a few months but wherever she is, I know she’s happy and creating. I was blessed.
Tell us: Do you think it’s ever safe to fall in love with a “free spirited” person?