It took over me like a storm. It doesn’t knock or ask for permission. It doesn’t have manners, it’s easy for it to come and it’s hard for me to let it go.
I learn and try to befriend it but that’s where the problem occurs. It strives to take over and push me away. I try to take a stand and refuse, but it always wins. People say I am moody, but they don’t know they deal with two different people in one body. How can I explain to them that the guy who was laughing with them yesterday is not the guy who is quiet today? Who will understand this unpleasant feeling, it is like I am in a dark, deep box screaming and no one is hearing me. Staying up at night looking at the sky admiring stars and how peaceful they look and I wish my mind was like that.
Anxiety is like stubborn siblings, no matter how hard they pissed you off, you can’t get rid of them. Anxiety is like a thief, it always steals my joy. Anxiety is like a spoilt brat, it doesn’t know what it wants, it tells me to hang out with people, when I do, it tells me they don’t like me. It tells me to go sit alone, when I do it tells me that I am not good enough and that no one likes me.
Anxiety made me lose focus, I write a nice poem, but it says that it’s bad and to scribble it out. Anxiety pushes people away from me, it tells me that they will only hurt me. Anxiety made me fall in love with darkness, it is like I am a prisoner who is serving a long sentence in solitary confinement, I can’t escape this loneliness. I am trying to get along with it, because with anxiety it is like I am fighting a losing battle.
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