Beloved, how do I forget you? How do I fill this huge gap in my heart? How do I shut down all these emotions I feel inside? How do I forget I know you? How do I erase your from my life? Why do I always go back to you? Why do I enjoy the suffering and pain you put me through and still go back for more?
How do I accept that this is it? How do I lie in this spikey bed I made for the both of us all by myself? Since when is it wrong to protect myself from the danger you are? Since when is it wrong to be a good soul looking after something so precious, yet to you it means nothing?
Why did I allow myself to fall so hard and not get back up? Why am I still down? Why can’t I pick myself up, since it’s evident that you won’t come down to my level and reach out to me? Is it so wrong to forgive? How hard can it be to forget? Doesn’t the good always suppress the bad?
Am I that bad that I don’t deserve one last dance? Am I not worthy of the last chance that everyone keeps on talking about? For how long will this continue? For how long will you accept what’s inside of me, the truth that you always refuse to understand?
How can it be that I am an angel to everyone else but to you I am just a reincarnation of the dark one himself? How can it be that I can put up with your baggage but you can’t see beyond my laundry? Why won’t you help me clean up the mess, scrape the floors and pick up the pieces? Why allow me to bleed out dry when you are my life support, the cure to my ambiguous illness?
Don’t you long for happiness? Don’t you long for a fairytale? Pain can get boring sometimes. Don’t you wish for the adventure, the challenge, something different?
How do I get myself to forget you? How do I get myself off the floor and move forward? How do I take away the pain of loving you but not being able to express it? For how long will you reject this heart f mine, this poor organ that needs your nurturing and guidance? This little organ that needs your wisdom and your nonsense?
Let me have those sleepless nights, let me experience the jealousy and the crazy fights. Let me cry myself to sleep, at least I’ll be there to share them without you. Allow me to have wild dreams about our undying unity. Allow me to be vulnerable with you. Allow me to be free. Allow me to find myself in you. Allow me to have what everyone else has.
Teach me how to love. Teach me how to let go. Teach me how to let this depriving guard down. Teach me the lessons I have missed through this whole learning experience. Teach me the meaning of happiness, teach me the true meaning of love. Allow me to show you my dark side and all my imperfections. Allow me to trust you. Allow me to see nothing in this world but you. Allow me to express my compassion, my passion and my insanity. Allow me to forget my idiocy. Allow me to find myself in you. Allow me to grow with you. Allow me to love myself through you.
I want to be selfless. I want to be vulnerable. I want to wet your t-shirt and wake up to your hideous but glorious face. Teach me how to forget you
Tell us: How do you forget someone who is no longer in your life?