I have really proved it. Sometimes spending your holidays with different people can give you your own paradise. This happened to me. I had decided to stay away from my family a bit.
This time around I just knew that its either I stayed alone in my room or had a boring holiday or took a vacation somewhere else. I had noticed that sometimes your real family misses you only when they haven’t seen you for a long time. It gives them great joy when you visit them for the holidays, but when you overstay your visit and have nothing to offer anymore they push you to go back where you come from. You become a victim like you are the one who’s finishing off all the food.
This gave me a great realization. So this time I did not visit the Eastern Cape. I had been invited by my friend’s family to visit them. I was very happy to be in a different environment for a change.
My friend who stays at Lindelani in Umlazi then called me to meet him in town. Since I did not know the place, I had a great feeling about this holiday, a notorious feeling. He always told me that he has a little sister, but when he showed me pictures of his sister, that spiced up the conversation because I couldn’t help but compliment his sister.
When I arrived with my friend to the new family I was already expected. So in my mind I was just looking for someone who would keep me happy. But not my friend, with him I can only play games. I am talking about the great feeling of being human. It is only girls bring that have that feeling. While my friend was showing me around that beautiful house, my eyes were searching for his little sister – but they did not find her.
While looking, I was a bit disappointed by what I saw. In the evening I saw two young girls arrive. They entered the door. The fact that they did not knock just showed that this might be their home. They greeted me. I was very shy but I greeted them back. I now became so scared since they had arrived. My brother used to say I am more talk but no action, when those girls came in I started talking with them just to prove that I am not more talk less action.
Both those girls where not my friend’s sister, but they were his cousins. So my expectations about them were not met. However, I felt an affection for one of them. Her name was Loundrie. I was scared of telling her how I felt. For me it was never easy to start telling a girl that I have feelings for her, I always just looked at her instead.
One day while we were both sitting and playing games, I called her with my mouth shivering and asked her to come and sit next to me if she did not mind. Luckily she did came. I felt my body temperature change when she sat next to me. I was feeling warm. I wished to touch her but that would result in a negative reaction, especially if I were touching her without her permission.
I acted as if I was playing a game while I was busy looking at her beautiful appearance. My eyes were pleased with what they saw. I was consistently gloating.
I then asked her whether she would have a problem if I kissed her. She said that I must be crazy and asked me why do I want to kiss her. I did not answer her because I did not understand her question. A few minutes later she said, “amaXhosa andwebile.” I did not know what she meant.
After she said that I must be crazy, I stopped having affection towards her. Her words just degraded my feelings. In my mind I told myself that maybe I am not her type. That’s how girls seem to judge.
After some time the desire I had for her faded. But then another unexpected visitor came. She appeared different, my eyes were looking at her short skirt, and I thought I would be pleased if she was wearing something shorter.
Well, the girl who just arrived was about my age, a bit younger than Loundrie, and she was approachable, but I was too scared to approach her. But my eyes never stopped looking at her.
I wondered whether she would mind if I give her a massage but then thought that it’s an inappropriate idea because she would question me about it.
Personally, when it came to girls I was scared to say the smallest of things. I never had a problem with girls, it’s just that I am shy.
Tell us what you think: Are you scared to approach someone you like in case they reject you? Have you rejected someone who approached you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?