It was a beautiful Friday morning, the first time I laid my eyes on you. You didn’t say a word and neither did I. I walked pass you so slowly, and your scent stayed behind with me. I looked back but you didn’t, you didn’t even notice me.
I sat at the corner and looked at you as you stood around your cigarette smoke. You looked back and I quickly looked away. You laughed at me and I was so embarrassed. You stood up and walked inside campus and ever since, that day, I kept hoping that you would notice me one day.
And my dream finally came true.
5 August, 2019. I bumped into him. It was a Tuesday morning and he was wearing the same jacket he wore always. He looked at me and stopped for a moment, gave me a look that only I could understand. There was a moment of silence yet his thoughts were so loud.
“Hi,” he said.
I greeted him back with a smile. He came closer and gave me a warm hug. It felt like home, like I belonged there. I didn’t want to let go of him but I had to.
“You look very beautiful, by the way,” he said.
I looked down, shyly smiling at the ground. “Thank You.”
“Oh, sorry my bad. My name is Thabang, you are Palesa, right?”
“Yes, my name is Palesa.”
We stood there for so many hours, talking non-stop. It was such a beautiful moment that I had been longing for. When it was time to leave, he asked for my number and I gave it without hesitation.
I got home that evening and waited for his text, but I got nothing from him.
A part of me was angry, but all that was washed away when I woke up the next morning with a Good Morning text. I was filled with so much joy and excitement. I replied and we talked for hours. This became a regular thing and I was loving it.
Ten days later, 15 August, 2019, we officially became a couple. It all happened so quickly, and we were so in love with each other. Our love was so strong. It was scary yet beautiful at the same time. He defined the word L.O.V.E to me and he taught me how to love. He showed me what it feels like to be in love.
When I looked at him, I saw my forever. He was more than just a lover but my best friend, a friend I didn’t want to lose. But there was one problem; he was 11 years older than me.
We spent four months of our time together and he wanted to make me his wife. And for a minute, I felt my heart stop beating. I was shocked and scared. I was only 17 and he was 29.
“I am still young for that, and I want to live, explore and enjoy my youth before I get there.”
After saying this to him, things changed. It’s like I pushed him away and he was suddenly distant. He was different and so was I.
I missed him. I tried reaching out but he kept pushing me away. I didn’t blame him but I blamed myself. It hurt losing him, I couldn’t imagine life with anyone else but him. But they always say that some people come into your life for a reason and some for a season. He came into my life for a season and now I needed to pick myself up and walk again.
All I can say to him is, thank you for passing by. Bye-bye Sthandwa Sam, uhambe kahle.
Tell us: Have you ever broken somebody’s heart? How did you handle it?