You are a good person, a peacemaker at times, a giver, and a dreamer. Circumstances did not define you but made you the person that you are. You are a queen so wear that crown with pride. You did not lose yourself in the brittle of the stars, or the thorns of the roses you walked barefoot on. You came out stronger and brighter, worthy to shine.
Your bravery and resilience built you to be able to take on the world. Your reserved nature helped avoid a lot of bad things in life. I love how you respect others irrespective of their age, race or nationality but please create boundaries to guard your heart and to have peace of mind. Thank you for being disciplined and self-controlled. You are definitely stronger than you think you are.
You needed to be there for yourself more. You had to put yourself as your number one priority. That happy, brave face you always put on for everyone, only meant you were harboring all the pain to yourself, you hurt yourself way more than anyone ever did, for you denied yourself peace, getting help, being loved and most importantly healing. You should have done more to protect your heart and emotions from all the pain and suffering life brought your way.
No one said life was going to be easy or smooth. Some days were bound to be rainy and sometimes with thunderstorms while others were sunny. Thank you for having the strength to face it all. Your burning desire to achieve your goals ensured you remained focused, resilient, and dedicated. You had a vision, a mandate, and a mission. Mistakes were made but that did not deviate your mission. You are a warrior, a hard worker, and an achiever. Therefore, own your pride because you deserve it.
Most of the time you felt as though you were on your own. I am sorry you had to go through that all alone. I am sorry for continuously putting you through all the pain. I am sorry I was not emotionally strong and available for you. Above all thank you for hanging on and never giving up.
A few things that you should have done for yourself are, prioritising yourself, letting go of the suicidal thoughts, not being too hard on yourself, you needed to stop procrastination, you should have allowed yourself to be vulnerable to healing. This would have ensured that your mental health was taken care of.
I admire that you were bigger than your depression and anxiety, that you stayed humble and remained relevant to yourself. Life has never been easy that is why there should be no room for doubt. You learned to forgive, not for them, but for yourself.
I know you never really had anyone to talk to, everyone around you was just too busy and occupied with their own things. You are no saint; you have had your fair share of mistakes but do not forget that you are a good person regardless. Forgive them all, young or old and you will see yourself as a new person, a better version of you.
Stop feeling like you are a burden to them because, baby girl you are a blessing, your kindness is unmatched, your hard work speaks for itself. Your calmness makes you approachable, easy to talk to and be around. You are a good listener, a great adviser, the advocate of change. If only you could follow your own advice, if only you could listen to yourself more. Then maybe you would stop doubting yourself.
Remember those days you used to cry yourself to sleep. Those days you wished you still had parents, those days you longed to hear your mother and father’s voices, those days you felt like you were a burden and a failure, those days you felt like a winner, those days you felt like giving up, those days you did not know whether you were going forth or backward. Well, all of those days made you who you are today. All those days were a journey to the discovery of your destination and guess what? The journey still continues, so my dear queen, soldier on and remain captain of your ship.
Tell us: What do you tell yourself to lift you up when you down?