“How do you do it?” she asked. “How are you always so happy?” I stood there, speechless. I honestly didn’t know how to respond to that question. How could it be that for sixteen years, it’s only now that I realise that I have been living a lie.
Was I that vague that my friend of four years had not seen the faint smile I gave sometimes? How I would wear my school blazer even on hot days just to hide the bandage wrapped around my wrists. Funny enough could she not notice the eye bags beneath my eyes? I didn’t have any concealer to hide it this morning. “I don’t know.’’ I finally replied. I don’t know how long it took me to answer that question
This question bothered me the entire day. My silence had even shocked my English teacher. She had asked if I was feeling okay. I nodded, not wanting her to bother me any further. The girl in front of me turned around, her face expression had a lot of concern plastered on it as if she was reading a foreign note on my face. Before she could ask what I knew she wanted to ask I quickly asked her: “If I die, what kind of person would you say I was?” She remained quiet taken aback by the question.
“Well, Fortunate…You are a beautiful young lass. Very loud and outrageous. You are bubbly and one happy being. You are a sunny day. Different. You care about others. You are just a happy soul. I would be lying if I said I had ever seen you angry at someone. I do not think I have seen you cry either.’’ She replied. I nodded my head once more.
“Well thank you for your honesty.”
“YOU ARE JUST A HAPPY SOUL!” these words echoed in my head…my heart and my broken soul. Several months passed and the same question bothered me. It had so much power to it. I still don’t know why though. Were we all living one big lie? Was everyone a covered book that had never been open? Was I the only one who was living inside a shell?
My name is Fortunate, as ironic as my name is, I am very lucky. I have amazing friends, a great big family and I am living a lifestyle I want to live. One could call me privileged, but I am not a happy soul. I am not a sunny day. I had not been a delighted girl since my father passed on. I am the definition of sorrow. I am a young lass who has a million cuts on her wrist, yes I have dreams, I am outgoing and very loud but happy I am not.
My classmate judged me according to what she saw presented in front of her. I could not blame her for not cracking this shell and judging the inside. We always make assumptions of other things based solely on appearance. On the outside they appear to be flawless. And some of us think, if the outside is flawless, then the rest must be perfect as well. “DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER” a metaphorical phrase which means “you shouldn’t prejudge the worth or value of something, by its outward appearance alone.’’
I believe in getting to know the real person beneath the stern, happy or sad face. Only then can you give a true opinion. Honestly though, don’t judge a book by its cover! I did that with Fifty Shades of Grey but thankfully to my dearest best friend, it’s my next favourite book.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover, its inside that matters.”-Michael Green