If only I could bypass the life system, I wouldn’t hesitate to cover the world with a sky of decency and make life a better place. Whoever attended the gym hall this past Saturday needs a grip, my hand should’ve been the one raised by the enforcer, not the intensive care.

Till this moment I can’t digest Bra Nazi’s poor judgment that cost me the lightest win of my career. If he was as professional as the papers glorify him to be, Lidz should’ve won by forfeit. In fact, I should’ve won by disqualification, but I’m just a trainee like everyone else. What could I have done to my lateral malleolus?

Last Monday should have been one of the best days of my life. I was meant to celebrate Lee’s debut burials but thanks to the man with the golden shovel, Bra Buzz and his new puppet, the everyday fool’s joke in my eyes, I got screwed. Imagine being released on Wednesday after spending three and half days in an intensive-care unit, if the following was to be the 1st of April. What do you think that meant at school?

I had to plot my vendetta since I didn’t want to make a pillow of my problems. I had a coup d’état already in mind to screw those two. Step one was to invoke my rematch clause against the nincompoop and delete the chaos from the picture. Step two was to challenge Bra Buzz in a “David vs Goliath” matchup that stipulated that should I win. I’d take over the gym and restore it in my own image. Step three, and the final, was bringing the veteran out of retirement only to retire him myself. This plan of grandeur fueled my confidence on my way to school.

I arrived late for class, but early enough not to miss that nincompoop’s presentation of doom. I watched this lad make a fool of himself with his frantic gestures in front of the class. He had his tie around his head, his wrinkled shirt covering his body. Finally he released his nonsensically stored words, “Ayo folks, I’m gonna present an informal vignette about the fears of man.” Everybody giggled expect for Meneer and me.

“I know of a guy who feared me, ouch.
He was afraid to come out, ouch.
And I had to knock him out, ouch
But his fears never brought him out, ouch.
He caged himself in rage, ouch.
Brothers and sisters, I beg you, please,
Never let your fears pave your way,
Before it’s too late dawn will be taken away from your eyes.”

I ascended from my desk and made my way to him. Then after a long reserve I howled because I am a top dog, “I don’t fear you, loser!”


“You know this could’ve been your adventure, it could’ve been better. I was ready to put you over boy, make you everything every infant behind the front row could ever dream of, but you brought this on yourself. That’s why I’m gonna punish you!”

Everybody was silent. I saw in the loser’s eyes that he had lost the word battle, till Meneer broke the silence.

“I love it. Excellent presentation. Siyeza, you can sit. Next.”


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